Confessions of a Semi-Slacker Mom

Semi-Slacker Mom's Twelve Days of Christmas by Sassy

2011-12-18T20:38:00.000-05:00

Here's Sassy's version of The Twelve Days of Christmas in honor of me.

On the first day of Christmas my daddy gave to mom...
a shiny, new white iPhone,
two Louis Vuittons, (*wow! I only asked for one.)
3 screaming kids,
4 "Hello There" cupcakes,
5 Girls Nights Out
6 Bunko dice,
7 pairs of sunglasses, (again, one would do)
8 cups of vodka, (*with cranberry juice too)
9 pairs of shoes, (*in reference to last Christmas gift)
10 Old Navy gift cards,
11 Cool Ranch Doritos, (*I guess that all I get)
12 blue pills.

Here's wishing everyone a Merry Christmas & a hopeful return to the blog world for me in 2012!!!

More burlap...

2011-11-11T11:06:00.000-05:00

*I'm really just posting this to have my pictures in one place to print for a show this weekend.*

Here's another peek at why I haven't been blogging...

2011-10-14T10:59:00.001-04:00

Click on the picture to enlarge.

for my friends' wedding photography business

...and I haven't even gotten to Christmas yet!!!

Where, oh where, is Semi-Slacker Mom?

2011-09-22T13:24:00.001-04:00

aka Super-Slacker Blogger.

I've had Blogger's Block for quite some time, which sucks because I could have been writing about my friend, Joan's new blog Chocolate, Chocolate & more Chocolate. For all you foodies, like me, it's a must check out. Tell her I sent you & maybe she'll bring me some more goodies! (hint, hint Joan.)

or Sassy's 10TH birthday...

or Baby Girl's 5TH birthday...

two milestone birthdays for both my oldest & youngest.

or how 4th grade is kicking my butt. HARD.

Didn't I promise I would blog more when all 3 of the children started school? Yeah, FAIL.

Instead, this is what I have been doing with my creative (& I use that term very loosely) juices.

for Retro's man-cave & my 1st effort. I'm fixing to make some revisions on this one.

for Retro's cousin's new baby

for my housekeeper. Y'all know I'm a Dawg fan.

this one needs personalizing

for our church children's director's preemie

I'm working on a witch hat, super cute turkey, christmas ornament & wedding dress...

How long before I get burnt out on this???

Semi-Slacker Summer Summary - Part 2

2011-08-16T16:44:00.000-04:00

You can check out Part 1 here.

So there we are 3 days into a 7-day vacation. And there was no way I was leaving. I'll camp out on the beach before I go home. And at home our electricity NEVER stays out for more than a few hours. Good job Flint EMC.

Tuesday morning we woke up fully expecting the power to be on, it wasn't. I felt the need to investigate the situation, come to find out during the storm, a waterspout took out 2 power polls in the bay. Lovely. Now I know that Retro is coming Wednesday evening & he would be pissed if the power was out. (Remember this is the 1st beach trip he has been able to attend. And nothing was going to screw that up.) So I told the workers they had till Wednesday afternoon to get things fixed & they (actually one guy) assured me it would.

So in the meantime, my partner-in-crime, Hooch & I took over the island on our golf carts.

If you knew how much I was sucking in!
And we don't usually dress like this, it was her littlest's bday.

Fortunately the liquor store had a generator, the ice cream store didn't but the liquor store did & I'm glad they had their priorities in order. Hooch & I became regulars, the cashier even let us charge up our phones!

Guess what day power was restored...Wednesday. Guess what time...5pm. Guess what time Retro got there...6pm.

Aside from the power thing, which now makes for a funny story, we had a great va-cay. Maybe it was the fact that I became a liquor store regular. Sassy started eating oysters. yum. I had the best shrimp & grits EVER. (If you have a good recipe, send it.) And... I got a great family beach picture.

July was spent swimming & more swimming; attending a surprise party; tripping to the water park; VBS, awesome this year I did the games; we got a new pet store in town & became regulars, at the beach-liquor store regular, home- pet store regulars.

I had some surgery, an ovary removed, laparoscopic. It almost made me reconsider a tummy tuck. almost. And Baby Girl got her nose broken over an altercation over a DS.

What did y'all do? I tried to write "what did" like I say it, but couldn't & whatcha ain't it.

Semi-Slacker Summer Summary

2011-08-13T19:03:00.001-04:00

Due to my lack of blogging, I'm sure those of y'all still reading this think the Semi-Slacker's have had a jam-packed summer. Right?

Wrong. I've just been lazy & the fact that every time I get on the computer I either get sucked in by FB (I'm such a Nosey Nellie. I can't help it.) or one of my children (mostly Baby Girl) will insist on using it.

So now the Semi-Slacker children are all in school. The same school, finally. Baby Girl is loving "big school". She was already "known" throughout the Lower School, so she's right at home. And I can get back to my regular blogging schedule. maybe. *click the pictures to see better*

Can't you tell she's going to be trouble?

He looks totally thrilled.

Thanks to everybody for the great teacher gift ideas. Here's what I did the day before: I got some of these from the Dollar General,

filled them with jumbo paper clips, magnetic clips, magnetic push pins (how smart!) & post-it style notepads & some decorative shred. My bestie made (in like 10 minutes) vinyl monograms for each teacher. Wa-la, Semi-Slacker teacher gifts!

Since y'all missed out on all the Semi-Slacker shenanigans this summer, I've decided to give y'all a brief (it's not going be brief) summary.

We celebrated Emma Ruth's 92nd birthday with a party at her assisted living center i.e. "the old folks' home". She loves it there. It's like a sorority house for senior citizens, except they take pills instead of drink.

In case you missed it, we acquired a new pet. Meet Sophie Mae the Bunny. She's actually a pretty good pet, quiet & basically house-broke herself. And she eats people food. (before anyone gets all PETA on me, that's in addition to the healthy rabbit food & treats we give her.) She, like every other animal we own, is a little chunky.

We swam all summer!!! And I am pleased to say that all the children are jumping off the diving board & swimming in the deep end. So I've been able to get a real good tan this summer. (except now it's fading) Every year I feel the need to display my awesome diving skills with both front & back flips. For the children of course, but I have decided to share my skillz with y'all as well.

This was taken by Sass at the beginning of the summer & doesn't show off my tan, just my awesome bod. Please try to control your laughter.

I read 2 books this summer & all I usually read is People magazine! The Help & Water for Elephants. Both great books, The Help was the best, I have to admit. I guess I could relate better. I had a lady that kept me when I was little named Nina Mae & she was "old school" like the ladies in the book with the uniforms & all. I can't wait to see the movie, I'm about to go by myself! And Water for Elephants comes on PPV next month!

I took the children to see Judy Moody & Zookeeper. Guess which one I preferred. Here's a clue, it ain't Judy Moody. My besties & I saw Bridesmaids & Changing Up & Retro & I saw Crazy, Stupid, Love. That may be my favorite movie of the summer, but remember I haven't seen The Help yet. Retro & I had several of our version of "date night", where we lay in the bed & watch movies on Pay-Per-View. We saw Take Me Home Tonight (R's fave), Just Go With It, Limitless (I need some of that!), Lincoln Lawyer, Hall Pass & Arthur & something I've probably forgotten.

Retro turned the big 4-0. Of course I threw him a little party the night before we left vacation/relocation.

Here's me & the girls, just because they LOVE it when I post their pictures! ;)

This year's relocation to the beach was the best one we've had, child behavior-wise. We got there on Saturday, the other family that went with us (same time, different house) got there on Sunday. Monday night we took the children to the bar (they had food too, plus that's how we roll) to do karaoke, one song in & up came a storm. By the time it was over, the electricity was out. for the next THREE days...

I'll leave y'all with that for now. Stay tuned & I promise it won't be a month this time.

Help!! I need teacher gift ideas!

2011-08-06T15:44:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I'm still around. In fact, I'm working on an awesome post right now. Well...not right now, but this week.

The Semi-Slacker children are ALL going to big school this year. I may too poor to pay attention (3 children in private school), but at least I'll get a little break. Baby Girl is telling everyone that I'm going to "take a nap" while they're at school. maybe just 1 or 2 a week.

But the problem at hand is that I need some clever ideas for Back to School teacher gifts (that I can get/do before next Wednesday). Y'all have read all about my children, I feel I need to start off the year with a bribe. Plus, Baby Girl's teach had Bo & Bo's teacher had Sassy.

So... who's got some fabulous, not-to-expensive teacher ideas that doesn't scream "teacher". I'm not a big fan of apples & stuff!

Y'all help me out & I promise to get back on the blogging track as soon as school starts back!!!

Still around...

2011-06-21T16:11:00.000-04:00

Now even Retro has called me out for not blogging, except his comment was something like 'you haven't blogged, thank God'. Whatevs he knows he likes it, otherwise why would have been checking it out.

The Semi-Slackers are gearing up for our annual summer relocation to St. George Island. For those of you (if any) that are new, no we are not moving to the beach. I call it a relocation, because it's not a vacation...really, just same old stuff, different place + covered with sand. But this year, Mr. Semi-Slacker may be able to make an appearance for a few days. We calling this year's adventure, Camp Chaos. And t-shirts are being made.

Aunt Crissy & I took the children to see Judy Moody & the Not so Bummer Summer. Judy is almost as Bi-polar Betty as Sassy. ALMOST. I was a cute movie, but movie ticket prices are OUT.RAG.OUS!! $60 later. And in 6 months I can watch it 47 times on HBO. (or STARZ, MAX, whatever)

We recently acquired a new addition to our family...

Sophie, the rabbit. I wanted to name her Ruby, but I was vetoed. We had our annual Peach Festival a few weeks ago & the Win a Goldfish dude had bunnies as the grand prize. Of course, we ended up with a goldfish (which is now in fishy heaven) & Sophie. I'm not going to say we won the bunny, just that we ended up with it. That's all. And I may be eating these words before it's a over with, but I really like this pet. It's a House Bunny.

I just got the book, The Help to read at the beach, but I read the first chapter while Bo was at the dentist & now I don't want to put it down. And usually the only thing I read is People magazine!

Anyway I feel bad about not blogging much, but I must say that I've got the best tan I've had since college! Now if I could just lose 10 lbs. but fat does look better tan.

Look! A new post!!!

2011-06-06T16:21:00.001-04:00

I'm know I haven't been blogging, but now I'm catching flack from my friends & family that fuss when post about them (or rather their pictures)!! I think at this point they'll take anything. Even my daddy said something!!!

But I'm not going to write anything earth-shattering, just give you a little taste of what's going on according to my Facebook status updates!!

Let's Make A Deal has the best ideas for Halloween costumes. A man was just dressed as a 1 Night Stand. (not that I would dress any of my children like that. Sassy asked "why just 1".)

My house is a freaking zoo! (Well duh.)

Victoria's Secret - Beach Sexy® Bikini Mixer® (ordered a new bathing suit, to match my awesome sunhat- pink & white polka dot!)

Praying for my friend, Darlene McDonald. (seriously. She had a bad accident, swelling on the brain & crushed leg. Please pray.)

Mini Flask Key Chain http://www.baronbob.com/
A Mini Flask Key Chain just enough to take the edge off bored meetings from BaronBob.com the world's wackiest gift gallery. (won this!)

It's hot! Happy 92nd Birthday to my grandmother, Emma Ruth! (like 100 hot!!! And y'all remember in March they sent her home from the hospital to die.)

It's going to be a long summer... (and hot! When does school start back?)

Great weekend! Bridesmaids & Outback with the besties Saturday night & pool party today! (Pretty funny. Almost too crude for my tender ears. {insert sarcasm} Can't wait to see Hangover 2!)

‎1st day of summer & they get up at 7:30!! (Now they have learned that 9:30 works better, except this week is Basketball Camp for Bo & Art for Sass, so we're back to the 7:30.)

And just because I'm a sweetie, here's the cutest picture of me & my kindergarten graduate.

He had already lost the tie! Not a fan of dressing up. Guess it was all those Jon-Jons he wore before he had an opinion.

*Please excuse the screwy spacing. Not my doing!

Pretty Personal Gifts 10th Anniversary GIVEAWAY!

2011-05-16T11:24:00.000-04:00

And because I am so ready for summer, my friend Janine from Pretty Personal Gifts & I have teamed up for a giveaway to celebrate her 10th Anniversary!

If you haven't checked out her website, you must do so right now...I wait.

Some of my "personal" favorites are the hand-stamped name charms. I get compliments on mine everytime I wear it.

Janine & I decided since it's almost summer here in the South; well it's only 70 today, but last week & this weekend will be in the 90s (Georgia weather is crazy!), we would give away to one lucky reader this cute Monogrammed Insulated Cooler Bag.

Perfect for the pool, the beach, the ballpark (ugh!) or a spur of the moment picnic!

Y'all excited yet? Ready to win?

To enter-

1. Leave a comment naming a gift you like or something from the website.
2. Like Pretty Personal Gifts on Facebook. (and tell me) If you already like it, that counts too.

Bonus entries:
*leave a comment on PPG's FB page mentioning this contest.
*blog, FB or Twitter this contest (points for each)
*leave me a comment with your number of enteries

Contest ends Friday (5/20) at midnight.

What happens in a small town...

2011-05-11T16:55:00.000-04:00

goes on my blog. & Facebook. & the local newspaper....

This weekend, in Smalltown, GA, was our annual "festival". Somehow I got roped into the "pie-eating contest".

I told y'all I was too busy to blog!
(I'm the one in the lime green shirt, in case you were confused.)

Since I'm too busy to blog...

2011-05-09T10:06:00.000-04:00

I asked one of my blog besties to do it for me. (That's how I roll IRL too.) Holly is such a nut & she is so much like me, I swear we share a brain. (Of course, it's an extra large brain.)

Plus, she called me out on not blogging (so did my momma), so this is her punishment. I promise I have some posts to write like how the gorilla showed me his business at the zoo & how I was in a pie-eating contest this weekend. But I'll get to that eventually.

Until till...meet Holly.

I'm a judgy kinda gal. I admit, I judge a book by it's cover. Once I judge the book that doesn't mean I won't pick it up and go through it, and every so often I'll admit my initial judgement was wrong...

Like with a skinny chick pushing a stroller full of two month old. How the hell is she so skinny already? I automatically don't like her...all smug wearing a size six jeans with her boobs still perky...ugh. But after she sits next to me at the play area and we start chatting and I learn she really is super nice and it's not her fault she has awesome genetics and I got hit with the fat stick I'll change my judgement and even feel slightly ashamed of myself.

But there is one mom I have yet to change my mind about that I've met at the playground...That Mom. You all know her, she's the one playing with her kids. She's the one that looks...good. Like she tried...

You're only to hang with me if you look like a mom. I'm not saying I want everyone to be wearing the mom jeans and breaking out the old scrunchies, but coordinating Ralph Lauren yoga pant ensembles? Really? And how the hell are your sneakers so clean? Especially since you insist on playing at the park? I'm sitting at the picnic table with one of my friends, actively ignoring my children, and my shoes are a wreck! How does that happen? My capris are crumpled and my shirt has syrup stains from breakfast...that's the way a mom is supposed to look!

Snacks. Simple. Easy. Goldfish. Pretzels. A banana or apple. Whatever I remember to throw in my bag, really. But when That Mom pulls out her organic almond butter on 9 grain bread sandwiches with freshly cut strawberries I throw up a little bit in my mouth. That is not the snack of the playground, and please, put the carrots you grew in your own garden with the soil you composted yourself away...I have enough feelings of inadequacies...

And please, stop pushing your kid on the swing. Mine are going to start thinking that's what I'm supposed to do...and swing pushing? Really cuts into my sitting on the bench drinking coffee with my friends time. So please, come sit with us...savor the sit. I promise you'll like it!! Not playing with your kids at the park opens up a whole new world...

Tempted? Come sit by me next time you take the kids to the park...I'll be the mom sitting there not paying attention...you can't miss me...

Holly Waligora
http://www.notaperfectmomsblog.com/

In honor of the Royal Wedding...

2011-04-29T08:51:00.000-04:00

This is what I'll be wearing today~

Of course it's monogrammed~

courtesy of my Bunko Secret Pal.

Don't you just love it? I may just have to have a Kentucky Derby party.

Think they'll understand when I go to Wal-Mart this afternoon?

Easter's over & I still need a freakin' clone!

2011-04-26T14:01:00.003-04:00

Easter was great this year! Awesome weather, I attended 4 egg hunts (1 per child + church) & hosted one. Can you imagine how many plastic eggs I have at my house? Including the ones from previous years, they fill up a tall kitchen garbage bag. I decorate with them, fill empty baskets around the house, I've even made 2 wreaths out of them!

Sassy only had a few meltdowns over her outfit. Doesn't everyone hunt eggs in a short skirt & wedge heels? And Baby Girl hair was a hot mess, as usual.

That's me, one Xanax & 2 Easter Sunrises* in.

I think we had the biggest turnout yet. I think I see 51 children plus a few babies that didn't make the picture. Did you notice Bo climbing over the rail? Look beside the flag. That's my BOY.

Easter morning, Sass had another meltdown about her hair. Imagine. I curled Baby Girl's hair & still...hot mess.

The whole family at church. This dress makes my boobs sag, but my waist skinny (although you can't tell in this picture) so there's that & Retro said he wasn't coming (we go every Sunday, he doesn't) then he showed up. He knows what side his bread's buttered on.

Oh yeah. And the Easter Bunny came.

Now this week's even busier!

Tonight we have ball practice for the littles; same time, different towns. Imagine. Tomorrow church & dance. Now it gets tricky, Thursday is dress rehearsal for Sass & Bo's play (I help, BG can't go). So it's straight from school to eat supper, to the church for hair & makeup. We have ball practice, but we're skipping, even BG because that way too much hassle. Then I have Bunko. Friday is our Relay for Life, I'm on a team plus one of the Bunko Babes is in charge of the whole thing. (And y'all thought I was crazy.) Saturday, we have ball pictures at 12:30 & 1:30 & the play starts at 4. Wonder how that's going to work out, plus I haven't bought their pants or socks yet. And BG is wearing Keds not cleats. Sunday-play, but I have to juggle Baby Girl who I don't think will be down with watching the play twice.

Did I mention Bo has a report due on Monday about Meerkats? Remember how my laptop is rigged to my desktop monitor? Printer won't hook up. Our dryer died Wednesday & we immediately got a new one. It's going on a month since my computer got struck by lightening. Can anyone guess what Retro thinks is more important?

Then next week is spring pictures for Bo & Sass, field trip to the Atlanta Zoo for Bo & Playschool graduation for Baby Girl (thankfully not on the same day, but it wouldn't have surprised me if it was). And ball games start. Throw it my momma's birthday, Mother's Day & our 13th anniversary & I'm pretty booked.

I just have to remember how blessed I am to have 3 healthy children that are able to keep my life so crazy busy!

You might not hear from me again till mid-May...

*recipe for that & my Real Housewives macaroons to follow (one day)

Looking for me?

2011-04-18T12:24:00.000-04:00

I'm still here...just up to my ears in this

images

and this

images

and a little of this

images

all in preparation for this

our annual Easter Egg Hunt.

Toss in some field trips & school hunts, even a pool party & that's my excuse.

The only bad thing about not growing peaches anymore is that there's no extra help on the farm for yardwork. Anybody want to be my yardman? Baby Girl is not working out.

And TOTAL Slacker Blogger

2011-04-11T13:27:00.000-04:00

I don't know what's going on with me lately. I used to love to blog & I just got up from my computer to FOLD CLOTHES!

I've got of "blog fodder" going on in my head like...

* how I think Charlie Sheen is not that crazy & aside from the briefcase full of cocaine & the all the hookers, I could totally jump into that pool. Ater all, Tiger's Blood is my favorite flavor at the Tropical Sno place.

*how I think I'm going to have Alzheimer's, like my uncle, when I get older. I was decorating for Easter & of course, I had to look back at the pictures from last year to remember how I did it & there was a decorative deviled egg platter that I didn't even remember I had!! And have no idea where it is now. My friends talk about things we did in the past & I have to ask 'was I there?'. It's either early onset or too fun much. I guess it is a good thing I keep this blog, it's kind of like my "Notebook".

*why I hate chicken nuggets.

*some of the crazy things Baby Girl says like, "You know how I get." - her excuse for acting a fool & "Finally, some peace & quiet." when I told her she was going to Babsy's house when the other 2 went to play practice.

*the preparations for the infamous Egg Hunt & some of the stuff we've been up to since Spring decided to grace us with its presence. Like the fact that the children & I are inheriting a bird this week.

*how I never worry about or really talk about my weight, which is usually 126 & I'm 5'1 in case you were wondering (I'm short & scwatty & don't really mind). Then I write a post about losing 6 weight when I got sick & I gained that back plus 4. I'm looking sexy in my "yard" bikini.

*and there was something else my I forgot... Imagine.

**oh & that last post, I'm not pissed at anyone; I just saw that on FB & thought it was pretty true.

Can you tell I'm stalling?

2011-04-11T10:48:00.001-04:00

~ You can PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES ON AND DEAL WITH IT only so many times. Then the elastic breaks... and you really show your butt. ~ Status Shuffle

Just a thought...

2011-04-09T17:08:00.000-04:00

I wonder if more children were conceived because of alcohol or more alcohol was consumed because of children.

Spring Break Fail

2011-04-05T14:51:00.001-04:00

I suck. or rather...the boringest momma ever.

Last week, my 2 oldest had Spring Break. Baby Girl has hers (for playschool) this week. Imagine that.

Did we go to the beach? No. Did we go to the mountains? Nope. Did we stay at home? Yep. And I'm not a "staycation" kind of girl.

I really did have some "fun" day activities in mind to do, but it rained & was cold the whole week. And that's my story & I'm sticking to it.

So what did we do? I took them to the dentist.
You can send my Mother of the Year trophy Fed-Ex.

That was on Wednesday & on Thursday, I took Sass with me to my OB/GYN. That's always fun. (insert sarcasm. not because of the appointment, because of the company- she complains about everything!)

Then Friday, Retro & I took Baby Girl for her 2-week post-op in Atlanta. Remember that surgery she had that took all of about 30 minutes? $19,000. Instead of me forcing my brainy son to be a plastic surgeon, I may be insisting he be a pediatric urologist.

I was cool enough to insist we (without Baby Girl) go see HOP that afternoon. because I have a unhealthy attraction to James Marsden, especially when it involves candy & a talking bunny.

I* also took them (yes, all this time) to Monkey Joe's (indoor inflatables), the MS Walk & Smiley's Flea Market aka Biggest Hot Mess EVER for some quality entertainment during the week.

Hey. This way I don't have to try too hard this summer.

*with friends. I try not to take all three of them anywhere in public by myself. I need back-up.

McDonald's is closed.

2011-03-31T12:34:00.002-04:00

or They ran out of Chicken McNuggets. (I might also add that I HATE Chicken McNuggets & all they stand for.)

They don't have your size is code around my house for I'm not buying that hideous... shirt, shoes, whatever fits the bill.

Not to offend anyone, but Sassy thinks if you have a baby when you're a teenager, you go to hell. And we're not even Catholic.

We have this "family fun" center place around here which I refer to as "hell on earth", unfortunately it's only open for birthday parties of children that we can't get out of attending.

If you get out of your car seat, you'll die or go to jail. Baby Girl hates her car seat, so I have to go to extremes with her.

Before Bo's lost all computer privileges, I would tell him too much computer use would make him go blind.

You have to be an adult to say ugly words. And all illegal drugs are taken through needles.

Yeah, that's right. I lie to my children. And don't act like you don't, even if it's just the whole Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy ruse.

Being the Nosey Nellie that I am, I asked my peeps on Facebook... What white lies do you tell your children?

Stephanie said that our food has hot sauce on it when we don't want to share

Amanda said ‎"Mama, what are you eating?" *quickly swallowing the rest of my reese's peanut butter cup* "A carrot. Do you want one too?"

Heather said I'm out of money. I use this one all the time, but now they check my wallet.

Marleena said You know the "game/arcade room" they have right inside Walmart at the front entrance? You have to be at least 12 years old to go in there.

Shelly said one of my friends used to tell her son that there were snakes in the park, because he ALWAYS wanted to go play there. I may or may not be totally stealing this one.

I've been lying to my children for... how old is Sass... 9 years, so what brought on this post?

The other night I think I told the best lie of my career. Here's what happened...I was watching the movie House Bunny & let me just say that Tom Hanks' son Colin looks just like him!

Anyclassicmovie, Sass ~~was watching~~ came into my room about the time Emma Stone's character was saying she was a virgin. She usually doesn't pay much attention to things she doesn't understand, she's not that inquisitive, but of course she asked what's a virgin. Probably because they made such a big freakin deal out of it on the movie.

And ~~being the professional liar that I am~~ without missing a beat I said "you know, like a Mexican (why I didn't say American, I don't know) except somebody that's from the Virgin Islands. She bought it, no questions asked. Feel free to use that one for your our purposes.

Customer Service people get my sympathies*.

2011-03-28T13:50:00.000-04:00

I know customer service people can be pains in the tussy & trust me, I've had to tell off a few in my day, but sometimes I can only imagine what customer service people think when I call them.

There are probably all kinds of *s, notations, red marks, whatever, all over my files of all the companies I do business with.

This weekend my desktop got struck by lightening, so I just now finally decided it was time to call & ask about getting my laptop fixed. I'm not on the phone with the chick, who I already can't half understand, when Bo & Baby Girl decide to get in a fight & come at me hollering & screaming.

I wonder what that chick was thinking. You know how loud it is when somebody is yelling on the other end of the phone line. I had to cover Baby Girl's mouth with my hand while I gave the chick the serial number. It will cost $199 to repair, FYI.

One day, I was either on the phone with Dell or Dish Network & the chair I was about to sit in BROKE! It was an office chair & the whole seat part broke off & I fell against a shelf. I hurt myself, like a major bruise, but I kept on with my conversation. Hell no, I wasn't going to hang up & start the whole process over again. That rep probably thought I had lost my mind.

I don't even want to count the times I've called & something wasn't plugged up right or some other simple stupid thing on my part or how many times one of the children started crying while I was on the phone.

And heaven help the guy that was walking me through the process of shutting down & reinstalling my computer after a virus. That was probably the worst 2 hours of his life. Oh to be a fly on the wall of his office.

Maybe I could get a job as a customer service phone representative. Think my Southern accent is hard enough to understand? Wonder if the company would provide the padded room from which I will have to work?

*on second thought, they should feel sorry for me. It's my LIFE!

Quickest way to lose 6 pounds!

2011-03-23T11:23:00.001-04:00

or The things I'll do for something to blog about!* You can pick your favorite title.

It was a full moon this weekend & a SUPERmoon at that, so you should all expect some drama would be going on around here.

Thursday was Baby Girl's surgery. She did great. Thanks for all your thoughts & prayers. No problem & very little pain. However, she was pissed off beyond belief. From the time they brought her back from surgery till we got home & settled. Let me illustrate, about no lie, 5 minutes after we left the hospital, she decides she needs to go potty. (She did before we left.) We are in the middle of Atlanta! I don't know how many of you have ever been in the middle of Atlanta traffic, but you just can't get off GA-400 or I-85 for a potty break! Plus, she had on a pull-up (bladder surgery, if you're new). We told her several times just to go in her pull-up, finally she piped up & hollered "I want to go in the DAMN toilet!" Retro got on to her, while I was about to pee in my pants trying to control my laughter.

Friday was cool, we went to a cookout to meet my parent's best friend's son's soon-to-be fiance. They are both in the graduate program at Ole Miss. I was drinking my newest favorite cocktail, orange juice & peach vodka. My liquor store has every favor of vodka you can think of! I need a vodka cookbook, well rather drinkbook. whatever.

Saturday, I ~~smoked some crack~~ lost my mind & decided to take my momma & the children to our local festival, Cherry Blossom, along with everybody else in a 100-mile radius. Then to a birthday party. When we got home I wasn't feeling too sporty. I chalked it up to getting too hot. It was in the upper 80s in the middle of March. Jealous?

Sunday morning, I woke up sick. I won't go into the details, but at that point I knew we weren't going to church & Sassy was with my MIL (if not their would have been problems), so Retro went on to finish the Cherry Blossom golf tournament. Bo did a good job taking care of his mommy. It's bad that he is more of a help when I'm sick than his 9-yo sister. Long story short, by 7ish my parents were here & Retro was taking me to the ER. I got dehydrated & thus anemic (I stay borderline). This is where Retro said that I would do anything for some blog material. I did lose 6 lbs, 4 after the fluids, so I'll take a few days of sick. not really, it sucked. I am currently in the market for some over-the-counter Versed. or whatever it was they put in my IV.

*Still working on my sex survey. I've been sick, people. With no laptop.
**I'm almost over the laptop incident.
***Y'all should join SkinnyScoop. I love me some surveys.

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/

PYHO: A Different Kind of Mommy Guilt

2011-03-16T11:19:00.001-04:00

Today is the 1 year anniversary of Shell's Pour Your Heart Out. This has been such a wonderful addition to the blog world.

She quoted me, along with several other bloggers, saying this about PYHO-

@SemiSlackerMom: It gives you support. All the comments lifting you up, meeting people going through the same things as you. Confessions of a Semi-Slacker Mom

I don't participate much because, well I'm not that sweet & I really don't hold things in. Plus, I'm more sarcastic than sappy. Not that all the posts are sappy, but some WILL make you cry.

But seeing that it's Shell's anniversary & something deep did happen this weekend that I want to share, I'm joining in.

The last time I linked up with PYHO, I wrote about my mommy guilt associated with the medical-ish problems I've passed down to my daughters; Baby Girl's urinary tract problems (which she is having surgery on tomorrow!) & Sassy's ADD. This time I'm talking about a different kind of mommy guilt.

Have you ever be so mad at one of your children that you just had to remove yourself from the situation?

If we're friends on Facebook (if not, it's Semi Slacker) then you might know that Bo busted my laptop screen on Sunday afternoon. He got mad at the computer which he shouldn't have been on in the first place because it wasn't doing what he wanted it to do because he's 6 & thinks he's a computer genius & he punched the screen. I don't know where he gets that temper his father, my brother because I'm totally calm & yell & scream & cuss.

Everyone else was outside working in the yard where he should have been & he comes out & tells me "Mommy, I did something bad to your computer." I'm thinking he just pressed some button & something weird happened. No. I take one look at it & know it's ruined. (My bestie had the same thing happen a month or so ago.) I was FURIOUS! And that's probably an understatement.

I was so mad I don't even know what I said. I'm sure I dropped an f-bomb or 2, asked if he's lost his mind, I don't think I called him stupid, but I can't promise. Then I proceeded to spank him. I hit him till my hand hurt. But I don't think that did too much damage, because I'm pretty weak & it doesn't take much to make my hand hurt. Then I sent him away "because I just can't look at you right now".

I was crying & went to tell Retro. The girls backed away because they knew I was pissed. Retro, on the other hand, didn't make as big a deal out of it as I wanted him to. Probably because it wasn't his, he didn't pay for it & he didn't really like it anyway. He banned Bo from the remaining desktop computer, I added FOREVER, fussed at him, told him he was going to throw him in the pond (which was really just a joke, but Bo was scared not really). Then we made him do work in the yard.

Bo is the one child that rarely gives me any trouble. The girls I yell at all the time. If you're a momma with boys & girls you probably understand. It broke my heart to be so mad at him. I'm still very disappointed in him. My momma was teasing me & said 'the favorite child isn't the favorite anymore'. But she is kind of right. Now they ALL get on my nerves! (insert smirk)

The mommy guilt I'm having now is, I'm bad about holding a grudge & I feel like I'm holding one on my child.

*I also burned my boob cooking dinner that night. FYI- If you have big boobs, don't cook with a low cut tank top on. Lesson learned.

**I know you all can't wait for my post regarding the sex survey. I have to compile all my "research", so it should be ready on Monday! If you haven't answered there's still time.

It's research, I promise.

2011-03-14T08:45:00.003-04:00

I asked this question on Facebook & only got a few answers. I think everybody's shy, this way nobody knows!

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/question/q/2948

The perfect sign

2011-03-13T13:16:00.001-04:00

If you've been reading for a while, you know that every year I host a big Easter Egg Hunt at our house. I invite tons of people & we have tons of fun.

A couple of weeks ago, I was contacted by Melissa at BuildASign.com about doing a review. Other family bloggers have received products like birthday banners, name street signs and license plates, fun bumper stickers, and more great products for families and kids.

I checked out their website...What do I want? They have tons of stuff, your imagination & their products together could come up with all sorts of stuff for all sorts of occasions. I contacted Melissa & told her I wanted to do something for my egg hunt & she sent me several different Easter-y samples. Retro & I took a look & along with my bestie (on the phone) we came up with this...

Okay, so you can't see that one. How about this?

The wording in white says, "We're so hoppy to have you!". Don't you just love it? I can't wait for everyone at the Egg Hunt to see it. If you're coming, act surprised.

BuildASign.com can do all kinds of signage, banners & magnets. Looking for a birthday banner? They can hook you up. Need a bumper sticker to tell everybody how smart your kid is? They got you covered. Wanna spread the word about your yard sale? BuildASign.com is the place for you.

There's a link on my sidebar---> that will take you right to it.

Is it cocktail time yet?

2011-03-11T10:31:00.000-05:00

I'm watching Sandra Lee as I write this & you know she loves cocktail time, maybe more than I do & she doesn't even have children.

*I could eat my weight in Cheese Puffs. Not the fancy Cheetos brand, the cheaper Golden Flake version. Yes, there IS a difference.

* I don't think Charlie Sheen is crazy. Hot mess, maybe, but not crazy. He knows exactly what he is doing. I'm thinking about letting Bo dress up like him for Halloween. Unless he winds up dead, then that would be in poor taste.

*There have so many tragic events going on lately; New Zealand, Japan, the basketball player who died after winning the championship game ( Bo was all over is) & Wednesday night 2 sisters, from the next town over, were coming home from church in a rainstorm, when the car hydroplaned. They were hit by a Suburban driven by a mom with her four children. The 11yo sister died at the scene, the 17yo driver died in the hospital yesterday. Can you imagine what this family is going through. It was unavoidable, but imagine the feeling of the other mom who hit them. A sad situation all the way around. The girls were big in Little League too. (Our Little League has gone to the World Series for the past several years.) So their passing has touched a lot whole of people.

*Have y'all ever read about the time somebody hydroplaned & hit me?

*Several keys on my laptop, especially my backspace key, are sticking & it's driving me crazy.

*My Secret Pal gave me a cute new apron last month. Last night, Retro asked what it was...a cooking robe? Really...a cooking robe...where did he get that?

*Last night, he watched TV with me, Big Bang Theory & that David Spade show & something stupid of his choosing. But the TV was off by 10pm, I think he learned his lesson.

*I trying to take a survey on how often you & your signifigant other have "relations" on Facebook for a post I'm working on, but nobody wants to answer.

*Yesterday, Dr. Phil was about Mean Girls. Sassy is a Mean Girl at home & all sweet & innocent at school. I would have watched it, but Sandra Lee comes on at the same time.

*School gets out 1/2 day today. I hate 1/2 days.

*Baby Girl's surgery is next Thursday. Happy St. Patrick's Day! If I drank green beer, I'll probably need some that day.

*I can't wait to see the new movie "HOP". You know I love me some Easter. Anybody got any ideas for a scavanger hunt for the older children at the Annual Easter Egg Hunt Bash. I'm serving cocktails this year. Kicking it up a notch!

*Winning.

That just makes me laugh.

Grounds for Divorce?

2011-03-08T22:00:00.002-05:00

Does your husband ever do something that drives you absolutely CRAZY? I mean like, hit him in the face, MAD?

As you can imagine, Retro does this to me from time to time. Sunday night was one of those times. We've been married for 13 years & for all these years, after the children are in bed, he has watched TV in the living room & I watched in the bedroom. Unless we're watching a movie or "something". Here lately, he has wanted to watch in the bed. My area! And he watches the dumbest shows, like on History Channel, ESPN or heaven forbid, Sci-Fi.

I like to go to sleep around 10ish. I like my room dark & quiet. And unless heavily medicated or intoxicated, I CAN NOT fall asleep if the television is on. My husband, on the other hand, has no problem.

Sunday night, I was getting ready to fall asleep & he decides to come to bed & of course he channel-surfs & sees some Indiana Jones movie is coming on & he needs to watch it. Remember it's around 10 pm. And how long do movies usually last? About 2.5 hours. Right? So I'm thinking surely he's not going to watch this whole movie. Wrong.

The longer he watched, the madder I got; the madder I got, the longer he watched. I went to sleep with Bo (he has my old mattress, so it's comfortable), but his heater was too loud. I went to Sassy's room, but books covered my side of the bed. I went to get on the couch & thought this was bull**it & he wasn't going to run me out of my bed.

During all this, while I'm in the bed, I catch him snoring & as soon as I turn the TV off, the SOB would wake up. My blood pressure was boiling! I really could have hit him in the face. Finally the damn show went off AT 12:30 AM. And he turns the TV off, after some smart comment about watching ANOTHER Indiana Jones movie. And I don't even like Harrison Ford. But I promise if this happens again, it's grounds for divorce.

I confess...

2011-03-06T09:32:00.002-05:00

Okay, I know I was supposed to do this on Friday, but if you have been a reader for a while, it won't surprise you that I'm just now doing it. If you're new, my first confession would be that obviously, I overuse commas. I think I need to use commas every time I pause & I'm Southern, I pause a lot.

I confess...Yesterday, we went to Dairy Queen for Bo's basketball team party & as soon as we got there he started running around the place like a fool with my best friend's son. After trying to calmly dislipine him ~~12 times~~. I had to chase him down & since I wasn't going to run & he's faster than me, I had to reach out for him & grabbed him by the collar & I accidentally choked him a little & stratched his neck. Then I beat his little butt. The beating was the plan, the choking & stratching is the confession. My best friend wasn't there, so I'm blaming the whole event on her ex, The Drunk & his mother, The Enabler. Thankfully, no one else was in there yet.

I confess...I was in such desperate need for a pedicure, that I took a picture to write a post.

Gross, right? I finally got a pedicure this week.

A vast improvement. It's my favorite color, OPI's Sun-body Loves You. My feet look tanner in the first picture.

I confess...While I LOVE all my chldren the same, I kind of LIKE one of them better. But I'm not saying which one.

I confess...Nothing irrates me more than people who do not do what they say they are going to do. Except disrespectful children.

I confess...My oldest child is such a smarta$$, quite often I find myself wanting to slap her face. You can just send my Mother of the Year award Fed-Ex.

Prince & Princess (x2) Picky Eater or I'm Queen Short-Order Cook

2011-02-28T13:16:00.000-05:00

I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings, I have reason to believe that my children are some of the pickiest eaters ever. Your little may not eat their peas, but I've got one that won't even eat carrots. Who doesn't eat carrots?

And aside from my disgust for raw tomatoes, I am very much a foodie. Take a look at what I fixed myself for supper last night

Yes, it's the same thing I fixed last Sunday night, but it's my favorite. Steak, loaded mashed potatoes, grilled asparagus & Bearnaise sauce. And yes, I do watch too much Food Network. I fixed this fancy gourmet (I use that term loosely) & I'm the only one that ate all of it. Nobody else in my house eats asparagus, imagine that, Retro is on the ~~Devil's~~ Adkin's diet so all he ate was the steak. Sassy ate some of her steak, but complained because it wasn't a New York Strip cooked medium. (It was a rib eye cooked medium well, because I got tied up refereeing a fight. That she caused.) Baby Girl ate her steak then asked for some more, but she doesn't eat potatoes, not even french fries. What child doesn't eat french fries? I've got two.

And Bo? He may be THE pickiest eater EVER. He eats grilled cheese sandwiches, most breakfast foods with the exception of eggs. He has never since day one eaten eggs. Strawberries, chips (especially gross nacho cheese Doritos), ice cream, chicken nuggets & Chick-fil-a chicken sandwiches with NO pickles. That's about it. And sometimes fish. Oh & alligator. He won't eat carrots, but he'll eat alligator tail. Fried not blackened. blackened is too salty (spicy).

Sassy will eat several grown-up foods like steak, beef tenderloin, crab legs, lobster, shrimp, calamari, Olive Garden salad; but she won't eat sauce on her spaghetti. And one thing that really gets my goat (like that I went all Southern on y'all) is that she WILL NOT eat leftovers. Once it goes into the refrigerator, she won't touch it. Crazy.

Baby Girl is my best eater, but here lately all she wants is soup. Campbell's character soups; ie Dora, Cars, Princesses, Toy Story, Shrek, whatever else. That child loves some soup. That & carrots & ranch. Maybe that's why her brother doesn't eat them, he can't get a chance to develop a taste.

My children are so picky, they don't even swoon over these gourmet cupcakes like I do.

I mean how weird is that?

The fool in L&D

2011-02-25T14:01:00.000-05:00

I have yet to watch an episode (because I always forget, but I just set my DVR so...) but I love all the previews I've seen of Lifetime's new reality show, One Born Every Minute. Y'all know, it's the show about Labor & Delivery. They show scenes of a woman in active labor posting on Facebook, a daddy dropping a camera on the newborn & a husband reading a book while his wife is pushing. You know, normal stuff.

If I'd of known this would be a hit, I would have videoed scenes from the delivery room all three times I was in there. Because with me & my family, there's going to be some kind of craziness.

With Sassy, I was the first of my close friends to have a baby, plus all our family, so we had quite the audience. Well not so much of an audience, since only a few select people got to see a baby come out of my business. Unless you count my ~~acquaintance~~ friend, Tori who be-bopped into the room at an inopportune time. Whoopsy.

One of my friends from church was my L&D nurse & if she didn't think I was crazy before, she does now. After pushing for quite some time, she mentioned that she could feel Sassy's head full of hair. I then proceeded to tell her to "grab her by it & pull her out". My mother was mortified. While all this was going on, Retro was standing beside the top of the bed patting my head like a dog. "Good job, you can do it..." After she was born, I hemorrhaged, she liked to have killed me. I should have known she was going to be trouble right then & there.

Oh. Let me not forget having to get Retro & Dr. H to stop chit-chatting to DELIVER MY BABY.

Bo birth was pretty uneventful, probably because it happened at 3:30 in the morning. His shoulders did get kinda stuck, but how funny is that. I'll tell you...not very, pushing a 9 lb baby out of my little 5-foot body.

Now Baby Girl, well let's start with my mother having to run the preacher out of the room so I could push. Seriously. That was the last person I wanted to see my lady parts. And I may or may not have said an ugly word or two while he was in the room. You'd think when I start cussing, it's time to clear the room. And Retro, he went from hiding behind me, patting my head with Sass to all up in my business with Baby Girl, like he was going to deliver her himself. And once again, I believe I had to stop the storytelling & redirect him & Dr. H back to the activity at hand.

I'm not a nurse & don't plan to ever become one, I would totally go for Labor & Delivery because I know they have all kinds of stories to tell.

It's Wednesday & I'm gonna tell you about my weekend

2011-02-24T13:57:00.008-05:00

because I'm a slacker. Plus it was a long weekend so technically I'm only a day behind. AnyIknowyoucan'twait...

We had a wonderful weekend in the sunny South. The temp has been in the low 80s- high 70s, it's been nice.

Friday night, we had a party for our friend, Darrell, that just got back from Iraq. We threw him one when he left, so I felt it only necessary to throw another. During Thanksgiving holidays, the children & I built a fire pit,

because I may or may not be bit of a pyromaniac. Yes, it's kinda redneck, I know, but sometimes that's just how I roll. Before Friday night's party, I asked Redneck Billy (he works for us) if he would bring me some more firewood. When I walked outside to check on things, he had turned my small square fire pit into a huge round BONFIRE! Total redneck!

Anyway, we had a big party complete with a big bonfire, "pink party punch" & cornhole. I would have taken pictures, but my camera battery is dead. My friends were so upset. (read with sarcasm)

Saturday morning after Bo's basketball game at 9 a freakin' clock, we came to PLAY OUTSIDE. Sassy had a friend over & we went for a ride on the golfcart. We found this

It's a place where my hubs was thinking about putting a pond. Pretty cool, kaolin pit. Kaolin, basically, is just clay & Georgia has lots of clay. This pit is nothing but soft dirt with "cliffs" to climb. The children had a blast. Here's a close-up.

I took my lay-out chair down there to try to get a little sun. After a few hours, we had to get cleaned-up for a birthday party at the city park, then my friend, Mandy & 2 of her girls + a friend came over to play in the clay, then around the bonfire to grill hotdogs. M & I finished off the Pink Party Punch. Imagine that. Note that's day 2 of the redneck bonfire.

Sunday, went to church, came home & back to the clay pits. My lime green golf cart looks like hell by now. My SIL's BF came over to play with the children. If I promise to feed him, he will entertain them for ~~minutes~~ hours. My oldest friend, who lives out of town, came over with her little girl for a visit. We've known each other since birth. I was born in November & she in December, so that's 36+years of friendship. We pulled up my plastic multi-colored adirondack chairs (you've seen them in pictures on here) & enjoyed day 3 of the redneck bonfire.

Then I made my favorite meal, because I sometimes think I'm Bobby Flay or somebody on Food Network. I would have to say I really look more like Sandra Lee with ~~Paula Deen~~ Rachael Ray's body. What was I talking about? yeah, food. I marinated some steaks & chicken breasts in my secret recipe (it's secret because I can't remember what all I put in) & grilled them & some asparagus. Made some loaded mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli, bearnaise sauce & my semi-slacker hollandaise sauce. I really can cook...when I want to.

So Monday, my bestie, Dre, comes over with her 2 littles to play in the "pit". They have a blast, then I have to run them off so we can get to play practice at 4. During play practice, Bo's button on his pants comes off so he's standing on stage with his shirt pulled up to his armpits fooling with his pants. That child does not care. He's too much like me, except I wouldn't pull my shirt up on stage ~~at least not for free~~. While we were at play practice, a fire blazes up in my front yard. It's the 4 day bonfire! The wind blew 3 of my multi-colored plastic adirondack chairs (that I LOVE) into the ashes & they started back up the fire. The pink one was gone! And the blue & yellow were toast. literally. At least the lime green was sparred.

*Yes, I know it's now Thursday. I'll try to do better next week, but who am I kidding.

Get onboard with this, Oprah.

2011-02-19T17:13:00.000-05:00

Not that I don't think texting while driving is a bad thing, but I'm willing to bet that the majority of the people that have these wrecks are not mothers. And not talking on the cell phone while driving, well that's just ridicious. That's the only time I can carry on a conversation.

If we as society were really concerned about distracted driving, cars would come equipped with those glass windows like limos or at the least the divider thing that's in police cars. Where am I going with this? I'll get there I promise.

First I did a little research.

What is categorized as Distracted Driving? Well I wanted to know so...it Googled it. And I found this.

There are three main types of distraction:

•Visual — taking your eyes off the road

•Manual — taking your hands off the wheel

•Cognitive — taking your mind off what you’re doing

While all distractions can endanger drivers’ safety, texting is the most alarming because it involves all three types of distraction. I'll agree with that. But I really wouldn't know because my antique cell phone doesn't allow me to text just receive texts.

So I'm wondering what they consider distracting. Here's what I found.Other distracting activities include:

•Using a cell phone- again the only time I can have a decent conversion

•Eating and drinking- alcohol, I'll agree with, but other than that what do you think the cup holders are for.

•Talking to passengers- yelling, maybe, but I'll get to that.

•Grooming- I used to put makeup on & take out my rollers on the way to class in college, but not now.

•Reading, including maps- Does that include homework?

•Using a PDA or navigation system- I have an annoying chic in my car that tells me where I'm going. •Watching a video- I can't seen the screen from the driver's seat, but the one in the front will only play when the car is in park. Buzzkill.

•Changing the radio station, CD, or Mp3 player- My car's so souped up, I can change the station on the steering wheel & I don't know how to hook up the Ipod.

That was their list (the red writing was my commentary). On that list was there ANY mention of children? And they could fit almost every category.*Eating and drinking- I have to pass around food & drink all the time. Just getting into my car somehow turns my children into starving little beasts. And if have a drink, they are thirsting to death & must have a swallow.
•Talking to passengers- or like I said yelling, referring fights, Baby Girl refuses to stay in her carseat, so I'm constantly threatening her. Or spanking her. Yep, riding down the road while she's in the back. •Grooming- I don't do this, but I have been asked to tie shoes, help with clothing, fix hair.

•Reading, including maps- I help with homework, study for tests, call out spelling words & read what "this word says".•Watching a video- I can't seen the screen from the driver's seat, but I'm supposed to know which episode is on & where the one they want to watch is & when it's coming on.

•Changing the radio station, CD, or Mp3 player- That's really not a problem, where the problem lays with what we are going to watch or listen.

My children are off-the-chain in normal circumstances, but I don't know why, some days when they get into my car they act like they have no home-training whatsoever. The other day Baby Girl hit me in the head with an umbrella.

So where can I sign up to ban driving with children? Come on, Oprah. But she doesn't have kids so she wouldn't understand. Maybe I should talk to the chics over at the "The Talk". As wild as Sharon Osborne's children are/were, she bound to understand.

That was their list (the red writing was my commentary). On that list was there ANY mention of children? And they could fit almost every category.

I can't complete a single thought...

2011-02-16T13:06:00.000-05:00

so, here's several.

Sandra Lee is like my all-time favorite star on Food Network, which next to E!, is my favorite channel. And I watch way too much TV. Why do I love Sandra Lee so much? She always does a cocktail on each show. Plus, she's Semi-Homemade & I'm Semi-Slacker. A girl after my own heart. Now Bobby Flay is fixing to screw up some hamburgers...

I'm having a party Friday night for my friend's husband that just came back from Iraq. Think it's okay to keep my Valentine's decorations up? If not, too bad so sad, they're staying. Now what kind of party punch can I make?

My best friend found out Monday that she was pregnant. She did in-vetro in Atlanta the same day that we took Baby Girl to her urologist. Baby Girl & Sassy think it's going to be twins. Twin girls. She already has a little boy. Welcome to my world. Really, we are so excited!

As for Baby Girl's surgery, Dr. K (the pediatrician) helped us decide to go with the less invasive, laproscopic surgery as opposed to the open surgery. If it doesn't work, we can still have the open surgery. It's scheduled for March 17th. Anybody know where I can find a St. Patrick's Day nightgown?

My other bestie's daddy owns several restaurants & she works in the office. She is always telling us crazy stories of what the employees & customers do that the restaurants. But here's one that takes the cake, a lady dropped her keys in the potty & according to her, it (the water) was "dirty", so she proceeded to flush the toilet. Guess what! Her keys disappeared. Imagine that. Then she wanted to know what the manager, then his supervisor, then the owner was going to do about it. Are you freakin' kidding me? Know what I would have done...sent her a bill from the plumber because you know that toilet is going to back up at some point.

I took Baby Girl with me to the "voting place" yesterday. My good friend's momma was running for State House. When we got there, BG wanted to know where they kept the "boats".

Happy Hump Day!

*If you're on Facebook, friend Semi Slacker...that's me. I'm trying to separate my blog friends & stuff from my personal stuff.

When did it become all about the children?

2011-02-14T11:29:00.000-05:00

But seriously, what in my life isn't about the children. I wonder what St. Valentine would think about the fact that his day isn't about the "lovers" but more about the product of their "love" (the children). Well at least it is at my house.

Retro & I did go out to our favorite romantic restaurant last Saturday night for an early Valentine's dinner, but let's see, what have we I done for the children...

All 3 are having (Baby Girl had hers on Thursday) parties at school & of course, I've provided Valentine's for all their classmates & goodies too. I must say Bo Valentine's were the cutest. I did bags of microwave popcorn with a label that said, POPPING in, to say Happy Valentine's Day! (for the boys) & you make my heart POP! (for the girls). And each of them got a gift from us. Not to mention what all I did for Sassy aka "the child I don't love"...

Are y'all ready for your scrapbook spoiler alert? Lots & lots of pictures coming up, but they're all super cute because they're from Sassy Valentine's Dance.

Me & my favorite 3rd grader. Did y'all notice I got my hair cut? And how cute is that "dessert" my friend, Suzy made?

Everybody limbo! This was a huge hit. I didn't realize children like to limbo so much. That's me & my plate on the right side of the pic.

Strike a pose! They are ALL a bunch of hams.

Everybody smile pretty!

We worked hard decking this place out in Valentine decor.

I think it turned out great.

The children loved the candy bar. Imagine that. Children liking candy.

Lots & lots of Valentine candy. Add in all the cokes they drank & these children were boucing off the walls.

Isn't she so pretty?

Don't you just love the photo backdrop?

Doing the "Cupid Shuffle" with all her besties.

Some of my (& Sassy's) favorite young men.

One of their teachers was the DJ & she had them doing all kind of dances.

A view of the whole party!

Sassy & even Sassier!

Food! Lots of great food. All the parents brought finger foods.

Sassy & her "future boyfriend" HB

Sassy & her crew

The Queen Mum

Two of the best Third Grade teachers ever. I love that these ladies come to their students extracurricular activities, even when they don't have to attend.

That's me crowning the Valentine Queen.

King BB & Queen Sweetie

Sweetie & Sassy

This kind of thing is of what memories are made. I'm so glad I had a part in making this one of Sassy & her friend's best nights EVER.

So how are you celebrating Valentine's Day?

It's the little things

2011-02-11T12:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm a total slacker. I haven't posted since last Thursday. But I have been thinking about this post all week. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't have told you that because it's not really worth the wait. But it's all I've got.

Here's some of the little things that make me smile... (or laugh whatever the case may be.)

*When my besties & I go out & we get to see something like this. I believe he may have dyed his hair with Kool-aid. (that really does work, FYI)

If this is your husband/boyfriend, I apologize... on so many levels.

*We all know my infinity for cocktails & what goes better with a yummy cocktail than cutesy cocktails napkins. (When you add alcohol, I doesn't take much to make me happy.)

They're ever better with humorous sayings.

But, the smartass ones are the best. Of course, everything's better with sarcasm.

(It says: Some days are just a waste of makeup.
Which is so true...on so many levels.)

*Speaking of cocktails, Daily's has come out with these pouches, that you freeze & the alcohol is already in them. (see the littlest things) They come in all kinds of favors too. And they're pretty strong, sometimes you have to add a little Sprite. Is it 5 o'clock yet?

*And the greatest invention known to man has made it into my life...

It's ketchup in a dipping cup instead of those little baggie things. No more having squirt ketchup onto napkins, then having to deal with disgusting ketchup-y napkins. which may be the grossest thing ever.

*Strike that. THIS may be the greatest invention. I can't even begin to explain how good these are & I'm not a big peanut butter fan. That's what's the best thing about these little bites of heaven, it's more chocolate than peanut butter. And yummy.

*Since I'm considering a dramatic weight gain to combat these Grand Canyon sized wrinkles around my mouth, (seriously, I will no longer be photographed smiling ~~sober~~) I have taken to consuming large quantities of gourmet cupcakes. Luckily, the bakery is over 30 minutes away (& totally out of the way). These are the ones I picked up on the way home from taking Baby Girl to her doctor's appointment in Atlanta (another post) on Friday. I may or may not have taken a bite out of each one. I did share the missing one with my FIL.

They fell over that's way they look bad, well that & the whole bite thing.

And then this week, my friend Heather brought me 4 more!!! Happy, happy, happy!

*Now this last thing (Pandora bracelet) doesn't make me happy yet, but it could on Valentine's Day! hint, hint Then Retro could just get me a charm for all gift-giving occasions & we'll never had to go through the whole Christmas shoe incident.

Friends & family members (especially my MIL & SIL): any help with this project will be greatly appreciated.

Now I'm off to decorate for Sassy's Valentine's Day. I know y'all really can't wait for that post.

Happy Friday!

Observations or Confessions, you decide.

2011-02-03T05:12:00.001-05:00

*Only teens & desperate mommas drink Vodka & Hawaiian Punch

*Some little boys refuse to bathe, so their momma has to beat them to get them in the tub & sometimes she's just too tired, so it's not every night.

*Tween girls won't let their little sister get in the bath tub with them, but as soon as her mother gets in it's a party.

*Parents give their children Benadryl or a little homeopathic pill called Calms Forte to ~~make~~ help them sleep.

*Nick Jr. can be very educational.

*There's a thin line between boredom & hunger.

*Having a produce man with a thing for you does have its benefits (at the grocery store).

*Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is always on HBO.

*The longer the hair, the more that comes out when it's pulled.

*Having boys makes you learn skills you thought you'd never need.

*Why do people keep unmatched socks?

*Adults watch Wizards of Waverly Place.

*Way too many people are way too into Y&R. check out their FB page

*You can go to Wal-Mart at 8am looking like hell & if you see your friends there, they'll be looking like hell too.

*A man invented Play-Doh & Legos.

Don't forget to enter my Valentine's Photo Book Giveaway!

Y'all feel sorry for me

2011-02-01T05:19:00.001-05:00

...my dog died Sunday, so enter my giveaway.

Seriously though, my Yorkie, Fritz, passed away in his sleep Sunday afternoon. He was 14 years old.

When I was 22, I paid $350 (of my own money or maybe Retro gave me some) for the cutest little puppy ever. My bestie, Dre went with me to pick him out. He was the hardest thing to potty-train. About 6 months after I got him, Rhett & I got engaged & moved in together.

Sorry for the poor picture quality, I had to take a picture of a picture in a frame.

I assure you he was not in our wedding, but we did let him pose for a picture. I was going to get him a tux, but my bestie, Bec talked me out of it.

I was going to post the picture here, but then I realized my wedding album is in my hope chest with a tv on top.

Nine years ago when we moved out to the farm, we let him be an outside dog due to the fact that he still wasn't completely house-broken. Or maybe he was, but we he got pissed, he would knock over the trash can & pee on it. He loved being outside & would walk around the farm, we were so scared he was going to get hit by car. Then he hurt his leg, that cut down on his traveling. Retro said that saved his life.

He loved to ride on the golf cart. If we didn't let him on, he would chase (or rather follow) us around till we let him on. In May of 2008, was the wreck. Baby Girl accidentally mashed the gas on the golf cart, hit my Tahoe & pinned Fritz' arm between the golf cart & truck. Retro spent $1200 to "fix" him. At this point, he was already 12.

For the past few months, he hasn't wanted to ride anymore. He turned 14 on January 7th. None of us really got all that upset, even the children, because we knew it was coming. He's in a better place now, a place where he can run again.

Now that you are feeling sorry for me, please go enter my Kodak Photo Book giveaway.

Kodak Valentine's Photo Book GIVEAWAY!

2011-01-31T08:25:00.000-05:00

If y'all remember back a few months ago, I made a Kodak photo book full of our Halloween activities. Well, Kodak Gallery is given me the chance to work with them again...for Valentine's.

This Valentine’s Day replace the traditional Valentine’s gift with something personalized and meaningful, like a Kodak Gallery Photo Book. Photo books with exclusive Valentine's designs allow you to tell your greatest love story with the click of a button.

Valentine’s Day is a great time to remember your favorite Kodak Moments with your loved ones, especially those you captured on film, like hugs between grandchildren and grandparents, birth of a new child, renewal of vows, 50th anniversary celebrations, etc. Use photos to celebrate the different kinds of love in your life: love between spouses, parents and children, siblings, pets, friends.

Kodak Gallery’s SmartFit technology allows you to:

Import photos from your computer, mobile device, and Facebook
Choose page themes, write captions and add personal touches
Adjust to different sized images, and arrange pictures by event or date

It's so user-friendly. If I can figure it out, anybody can. Kodak Gallery offers books of various sizes both hardback & paperback ranging in price from $9.99 to $69.99. You can also check them out on Facebook.

One of my lucky readers will receive an e-code valued at $35 – which will be enough to make a significant photo book.

You can enter by sharing your favorite "Kodak Moment" with a loved one in a comment, and for an additional entry to share a favorite moment with a loved one via a tweet, using #kodakgalleryfan. Just let me know you tweeted & you can tweet every day. I'll give you 5 extra entries if you post this on your blog in some way, shape or form.

This giveaway will run through Friday, February 4th & I will chose a winner on Saturday, February 5th.

Ping-Pong anyone?

2011-01-29T16:34:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Wii Resort Sports, Bo has decided he's good enough to go on the professional ping-pong circuit. I'm not quite sure if that will be before or after the bowling tour. I told him before he can go pro, he needs to learn to play on a real table as opposed to a virtual one.

The first place I'm going to look is going to be CSNstores. CSN Stores has over 200 online stores where you can find anything you need whether it be swingsets, fitness equipment, or even a ping-pong table!

And while I'm shopping at CSN Stores, I may find something I need for myself so look for another great review coming soon.

And the fun begins...

2011-01-26T21:13:00.000-05:00

Monday (when I intended to write this post) I switched out my smaller purse to my LV ~~Alwaysfull~~ Neverfull & I pulled out my day planner to update. I keep a desk-size calendar above my toilet, which works out good because my potty is in a ~~closet~~ room on its on off of the main bathroom, so nobody really sees it. Not that my bathroom is a high-traffic area anyway. If you are expecting, the calendar by the potty is a great way to keep up with the baby's milestones (my scrapbook lady gave me that tip).

Now what was I talking about? oh yeah...my calendar. Anyway I can tell the holidays are totally over because my schedule is really filling up. Sass & Bo are participating the in community children's drama's spring production & guess who is helping, Bo is playing Upward basketball (great program, except for the early Saturday mornings), Wednesday is Baby Girl's dance class & church. Thursdays are free, except for Bunko Thursdays.

This week alone has been crazy. Monday; the in-laws took Sass to her Atlanta doctor (who did the same thing that the pediatrican would have done when he comes back from his heart attack sabatical), we had the first play practice & parts were assigned & Bo had basketball practice. Tuesday; I had Bible study, which the Lord knows I don't need to miss & Bo had basketball pictures & his coach had a school board meeting to attend, so the team mom had to be in the picture (guess who that is). Wednesdays are always crazy with church & dance at. the. same. time.

While I'm on the subject of basketball & church, Upward is a (Baptist) church-sponsered program & very popular in our small town, so it turns into a total social event. Imagine how crazy it is to hang out with folks, that you used to ~~drink~~ ~~party~~ hang out with, that you haven't seen since high school, & chit-chat with their spouses & watch all the children play ball.

Next Friday, we are taking Baby Girl to the pediatric urologist in Atlanta. And surgery will be scheduled. She missed her medicine TWO, yes only 2 days & woke up with another infection. Can't you imagine how happy that made me? I'm going to have to fit her surgery into my busy social schedule. But that is my #1 priority. I may have to take an extra large dose of Xanax before that visit.

And of course we have the much anticipated 3rd grade Valentine Dance! I ordered 3 dresses to choose from. One of which was the first dress I posted before. The rest were size 7 & turns out she needed a size 6, so we had to drop back & punt, the fact that "my" dress was available in the right size must be a sign from God so of course I'm getting that one.

I am currently experiencing a slight obsession with Oreos. It happens from time to time. Baby Girl's ballet teacher told me I was looking skinny today, so I made up for that by eating 6ish Oreos.

So anybody got any big plans for Valentine's Day? I'll be having a awesome Valentine-y themed giveaway from Kodak Gallery coming up soon. Stay tuned.

Uber, pussycats & food. Huh?

2011-01-21T17:34:00.001-05:00

*My children have gotten where they like to watch "old shows" on Boomerang. We're talking cartoons here, like The Flintstones, Scooby-Doo, The Jetsons & one that really bothers me...Josie & the Pussycats. Yes my head is in the gutter, but I really dislike that word. Retro wanted to name one of the girls Josie & I vetoed it simply for the "& the Pussycats" part. That & the fact that our friends had a dog named Josie. What were the creators of this cartoon thinking? I guess that word didn't have such a bad connotation back then.

*The storylines on The Young & the Restless have really got me sucked in right now. I love that Billy bought that baby for Victoria, but for $2 million he could have had one of mine & they're potty-trained. And both Phyllis & Daniel know that baby is Daisy's, so I can't wait to see how that's going to play out.

*Today on Y&R, Abby said "uber". Then two people used the word on FB. What is up? Please tell me that is not trying to make a comeback. Uber just reminds of Mike Myers on SNL.

*Sassy & I were looking at dresses online last night & put 3 choices up on FB. I got tons of feedback, most comments ever. So here's y'alls turn...Which dress do you like best for Sassy's Valentine's Dance?

1. This is my favorite. I think this one is the most age-appropriate. Plus it's my favorite colors.

2. My 2nd favorite. Will be worn with a white sweater. I think the bottom looks like a big flower & very Valentine-y.

3. Sass likes this one. I think it's too springy. And too growny with the whole one-shoulder thing.

4. There's about 2 other versions of this one & you know how she likes zebra-print. A white sweater would be required for this one as well.

*My besties & I are going out for a GNO tonight. Dinner & cocktails, 2 of my favorite things. Except tonight I'm really craving some dessert. Chocolate martini?

*I need a finger food for the Valentine's Dance. It has to be ~~kid~~ 9-year-old friendly. I'd like to make oreo truffles or red velvet cake balls, but I don't know if they'll like them. But then, if not, there'd be more for me. Any suggestions?

*Speaking of food, I'm always reading articles in all these parenting magazines about picky eaters. And let me just say I might have the 3 most pickiest eaters ever conceived. These magazines suggest foods supposed to be for picky eaters & half the time I'm thinking to myself, 'my children aren't stupid, they aren't going to eat this'. You can't color broccoli brown & call it chocolate.

Y'all have a wonderful weekend!

What do you really think?

2011-01-19T16:50:00.001-05:00

Two of my favorite bloggers have both written posts in the past few days that have gotten me thinking...what do people think of me.

Sandra from Absolutely Narcissism was talking about how the blog world is kind of like high school, which I can see that, as like an innocent bystander. I live in a small town & have pretty much considered myself popular. I mean I've got tons of friends & when Retro & I got married people were standing up in the back of the church, probably because they knew the reception was going to be a great party. A lot of people "in real life" enjoy reading what I write because they tell me, since most of them don't know how comment, so I guess it's kind of popular around here. Sometimes it really surprises me to find out who reads.

But as for the blog world, granted I've made lots of friends, I wouldn't consider myself "popular". There are some serious bloggers out there that have thousands of followers & receive hundreds of comments, I do good to get 20ish. The comments sometimes give me an ego boost, but when it really comes down to it, I do this mainly for me. It's my scrapbook, my place to vent & where I can go back & remember the moments that make my life an adventure.

I really think people that know me only from my blog might think of me different than those that know me in person. I don't know, maybe not, I am pretty truthful on my blog & in real life. It's kind of like "what you see is what you get".

Then I read my "real life" friend's post on The Civilized Minute. She asked the questions, 'What are the words floating over your head in someone else’s mind? Better yet, what words do you WANT to float over your head in someone else’s mind?'

Hum? I did do this fun little thing on Facebook a few weeks ago...Leave me a 1-word comment that best describes me using the THIRD letter of YOUR FIRST name. It can only be 1 word.

This is I got:
Lisa- Swinger....j/k haha
Samantha- Mama, but I like the one above better!
Lourie- U is very hard word to work with...it mostly has negative words. But the one I came up with right away is: UNIQUE!
Tiffany- Freaky
Rita- Tipsy..haha (this was also Sassy's 1st grade teacher)
Dawn- writative - characterized by an inclination to write
Vicky- cute
Mitzi- Trendy.....thoughtful......
Christy- Righteous, Right, Redneck (LOL), Radical
Okay, that's what 9 people think (one of which is a blog friend). I don't really know what words I want floating over my head; thoughtful, loving, fun, Christian, loyal, Semi-Slacker!, momma (that word is not only floating over my head, but also following behind me like little ducks), dependable, entertaining? Dang, I guess I did know.

Everytime we leave a funeral I wonder what people will say about me when I'm gone. Will my friends & family stand up & tell great stories about me, how I affected their lives? I hope so & remember I totally want a party afterwards.

I've thought about writing my own obititary not really, maybe I should write a script for the service & plan the party. Pooey, pooey (as I spit on my fingers like The Nanny). Enough of that talk.

So what do you really think about me?

What really irritates me...

2011-01-17T14:00:00.000-05:00

Granted it doesn't take much, but I've give you the top 10.

1. In June of '08, Sass had otoplasty (ears pinned) & since then about every 6 months or so, she gets this growth on the back of her left ear. It's some sort of inflammation, due to the fact that during her recovery she would wipe off the cream that I applied to the area. Yes, she is a pain in the arse. From time to time, it would get hit, bleed like crazy & go away. Then come back. The pediatrician froze it off close to a year ago. Now it's back. And Retro wants to take her back to the doctor that did the surgery in Atlanta. So I'm pissed about that the fact that she didn't do right in the beginning & that the SOB won't go away for good.

2. I'm also pissed that we have to go to Atlanta to the doctor. For this AND Baby Girl's pediatric urologist. We have a perfectly good hospital here, who according to their website is the 2nd largest in Georgia, but nobody does what we seem to need there. An ENT for Bo we've got, but for the girls nothing. We are very blessed that nothing is seriously wrong with any of our children, just minor things, but I would be in a lot better mood if their doctors weren't 2 hours away. Plus, it would be more convenient for me to worry them till my girls were fixed.

3. Doctors in general, really. I don't know what it is, but the only ones I like are my OB/GYN + his partners & the pediatrician + MOST of his partners. I don't even like dentists. I don't mean personally, I have a friend who's a doctor & I like her, but I won't become a patient because I'm afraid she'll piss me off. I guess it's the waiting or the fact that I don't have much control. If I had a prescription pad & could do surgery I'd be happy.

4. The weather. I don't like the cold. or the rain. Snow I can deal with, but only for a day or two. I like the heat, except for extreme heat, unless I'm by the pool. maybe I should move to Florida. or some tropical island, but they have hurricanes.

5. My satellite provider, Dish Network. And ABC & Fox. They're are all greedy. Seriously, how much does it cost to shoot a freaking satellite signal into the sky. Get it together people or we're switching.

6. The fact that Retro is totally computer illiterate. Bo is 6 years old & has no problem at all doing all kind of stuff on the computer for hours at a time. Retro sits down to look at some sports stuff or the Atlanta paper & 5 minutes later he's hollering for me to come fix something. I keep telling him it's operator error, but yet he doesn't hesitate to wait till I'm settled in bed or interested in a TV show to have me push 1 button & fix it.

7. Lazy children. I know this is my fault, but my children (especially Sassy) will make themselves a snack or something & leave all the stuff out. Bread open, fixings out of the frig, trash on the counter. Then about half the time ~~Sassy~~ they leave their plate or whatever on the table or in the playroom. I'm fixing to nib this thing, so if my children start looking really skinny, it's because I've banished them from the kitchen.

8. Laundry. Well that's pretty much self-explanatory, isn't it. Both my washer & dryer are both large pieces of crap. Retro so needs to invest in one of those high-tech washer/dryer combos that I saw on Let's Make a Deal. If only the thing could iron & fold too, I'd be good to go.

9. The interior of my SUV. We live in that thing & it is gross. I drive a Yukon XL Denali, so from the outside it looks good, just don't open the door. And it's only a 2008. I clean the thing out & less than a week later it's trashed again with toys, food, trash, dishes (cups), whatever. Baby Girl has even written on the seat. (see #10) Saturday I was cleaning it out & all 3 of my children came out to the car, not to help clean up their mess, but to ask me to sign papers, read something & I don't know what Baby Girl wanted. I (or 1 of the children) will be driving that thing till the wheels fall off.

10. Baby Girl refuses to stay in her carseat. I have tried everything, short of duct-taping her in; threats, beatings, bribes (that works a little), 2 seat belts. I've even had policemen & firemen talk to her. She is one stubborn little girl. And off the chain. I'm thinking about having one of the local police to pull me over & take her to jail. Think they can book a 4-year-old with a "bad badder" (bladder)?

Oh, one more thing, it's petty but does irritate me, not really when other people say it just me. The word "kid". If you'll notice I rarely write the word, I prefer children. I don't know why because sometimes my children do act like little goats.

Actually I could go on & on, but I've put y'all through enough *bitching & moaning, so I stop here. Now, where's that Xanax.

Thanks for letting me vent. I know it's not just me, so what irritates you?

Hello. My name is...

2011-01-15T11:43:00.040-05:00

Semi-Slacker Mom & I am addicted to Facebook.

My friend, Britain was complaining because I haven't posted lately & she's snowed in & bored, but if she'd just get on Facebook from time to time she might get her comic relief. But since she doesn't...

My first impression of Facebook was that it was kind of stupid. The only reason I even signed up was so I could see my bestie's ex-husband page. And for the longest time I rarely even logged on.

Really all I did was collect friends. When I did get on, I rarely "updated my status" just stalked & left comments & likes here & there. Then I made myself (well not me, my blog) a fan page, so I had to get on for that & then I did the whole network blog thing, so I'd get on for that.

I don't remember when my addiction started. Maybe after all the birthday wishes I got for my birthday, but seriously, I'll bet money that I got on every day in December & every day since. Ooooh, I remember when I really started getting into FB, when Baby Girl was in the hospital & my bestie brought me her laptop. Yeah, that's it, so Amber's to blame.

I even "update my status" quite frequently. I had some really good ones around Christmas...Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. It's only fair since you're getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also. & Tis the season for some eggnog. I made this fun little thing with some of my favorite "updates".

I have 860 friends on FB. Some of them I wouldn't even talk to on the street. But we're "friends". They really should change it to "acquaintances" or just "people you know". I am "friends" with every guy I've ever dated & most of their wives, except one (boyfriend). That one is the only one where it would be kind of awkward. Not that I chit chat with any of them.

Anystalker, the most people that have been on at the same time was like 70ish & that was the day everyone was iced it. Usually it's this the same people too. And only a few of them I wouldn't talk to in public.

Facebook does have some benefits. When Baby Girl was sick I found out a couple from high school's little girl has the same thing. So does one of my blog/FB friends. You can see pictures of everybody's children. It's even better than a reunion; you can see who's gotten fat & bald, who's done well for themselves & who, well notsomuch.

Facebook does interfere with my blogging because I can say what I'm thinking in one or two clever sentences as opposed to thinking of a whole post. And, granted I still LOVE getting comments on my blog, I have started getting that same feeling when somebody comments on my status updates as I did on from comments on my posts. I don't know it's wierd.

And now I don't check my email as much because most people just message anything important on FB. But I check Facebook first thing in the morning & before I go to bed. And several times during the day. Plus FB has games, I'm not talking Farmville & such, but the little addictive video games. I'm such a nerd.

And gossip. The fact that I'm a busy body may attribute to my addiction. Through Facebook I can keep up with everybody's business. Granted it's only those same 70 people but still. Wonder how I can get those other people to air their dirty laundry? I know some of my "friends" have got to have some good stuff going on it their lives. I'm a SAHM & 2 of my stories were cancelled, humor me people.

So are you on Facebook?

Ice, Snow, whatever.

2011-01-12T21:58:00.003-05:00

So Sunday night/ Monday morning Georgia, along with the majority of the rest of the country, I believe, experienced an onslaught of winter weather. Atlanta got up to 7", which totally immobilized the whole city. I'm sure all you up North are rolling over laughing at us, but this is the South, we deal with the heat not the cold.

Around here, all we got is ice. Lots & lots of ice. But if it looks like snow & is as cold as snow, we call it snow. And school was closed. As well as the rest of Central Georgia. The girls & I couldn't wait to get our ski suits on & get outside.

They had a blast pushing each other around on the saucers. And attempted to have a snowball fight. I was finally able to talk Bo into coming outside for a little bit. He posed for a few pictures slid down the hill a time or 2 & he was done. He is NOT a winter person. I'm not a big fan myself.

Yes, I know Baby Girl looks like a homeless child. Remember, I'm letting her bangs grow out & she did have a hat on. That's my story & I'm sticking to it.

This is what Retro & Bo did for the majority of the day...

sit inside, in their boxer shorts, playing Pac-Man.

While the girls & I did this...

I had the bright idea to tie a rope to the back of the golf cart & pull them around on the saucer. That hill in our backyard just wasn't cutting it.

Woo-hoo! I didn't have a video making a fool out of myself on the stripper pole, so decided to post one of me making a fool out of myself in the snow/ice. I hope you enjoyed it.

32 degrees & below is not my favorite temperature. I do much better in 80+. I'm even okay in 90+ as long as I'm near a pool. If I've got to be in cold weather, you can bet I'm going to be dressed like a freaking snow bunny. A few years ago I bought about $500 worth of ski attire for myself & the children for a ski trip, but we missed our trip (Baby Girl was in the hospital, long story) so since then they've come in super handy for snow days...1 last year & 2 SO FAR this year. I don't know how you people that live in this stuff all the time deal.

We woke up Tuesday & it was still here. So again, no school. Bo saw the above videos so he wanted to do it, so back outside we went...

He was able to do it a few times by himself, but then wanted me to ride with him. My hip & knee are paying for that today. Sitting cross-legged on a 2ft. circle of plastic with a 50+lb. 6 year old on your lap boucing across 3 acres ain't the best thing for an out of shape momma. It's bad to get old. My hips haven't been right since I pushed his 9 lb butt through them anyway.

Toward the middle of the afternoon, it was melting pretty good. Except for on our back steps...

Can you say redneck? or call that show "Jacka$$"?

Now here's one just to keep y'all laughing...

Let's just say this was not one of my best ideas.

Now where the hell is that global warming?

Y'all stay warm.

No stripper poles today

2011-01-07T21:53:00.000-05:00

only a few things rattling around in my head.

*It's only the first week of January & all my Christmas is put up. In record time, I believe. Now aren't you proud of me, Laura.

*I have like 850 friends on Facebook, so how come its always the same 40-something people on. Wow. Right now there's a record 54 online.

*Some of the other mothers & I are throwing a Valentine's Day for Sassy's class. She has already put in for a new dress, "I want it to be kind of Valentine-ish, so like red or hot pink." I'm thinking regular pink & I'm paying, so let's see who wins. Anybody got any ideas of activities to do at the dance, besides dance?

*Ratatouille is back. If you're new, we live in the country, in a pecan orchard, so every year I have a run-in with a mouse. How the little SOB gets in my house is beyond me. So today I was walking out of the laundry room & I swear I saw a little tail go through the crack in the door (you know the space where it opens). So I look around for some boots; I don't know what the deal is with the boots, but every time I see a mouse I feel like I need to put on some boots (preferably Wellies), I find no boots OR a broom (at least not in arm's reach) so I close the door, I don't know why because all I was going to do was freak out, but the mouse was gone. Now I'll be sleeping with one eye open until he is DEAD.

*I'm letting Baby Girl's bangs grow out. I don't know what possessed me to give her bangs in the first place, I think it has something to do with my FIL freaking out every time it was in her eyes. So now it's REALLY in her eyes. Just thought I'd give you a head's up for future pictures.

*Ben the weatherman is calling for a "significant winter storm" on Sunday night & Monday. So that means... Snow Day! I know some of y'all are used to large amounts of snow, but around here, 1" closes school. It's crazy, nobody can drive to the school, but they can drive to the grocery store to buy milk & bread (& beer) & to the local country club to slide the hills. I can't wait. Just hope we don't have an ice storm, that would suck.

*Basketball practice starts bright & early in the morning.

Happy Friday!

Why I can forget that dream job at Strippers.

2011-01-06T20:29:00.000-05:00

Some of our friends bought a house in August. This house is near my brother's & some other friend's & the former owners were notorious for throwing wild parties. I mean WILD. You've seen pictures of some of my parties & let me tell you, from what I hear, they are cake & ice cream compared to these.  I guess somebody's got to give the night shift at the PD something to do.

This house was party-ready; pool, outdoor kitchen with fireplace, even a party barn complete with stripper pole!  Technically it's really a support beam, but could have fooled me.

I have been attempting this pole since they moved in, to no avail. I don't think I'll ever get my dream job at Strippers. Isn't that such a creative name? Imagine how I explained to my 9-year-old what Strippers is... That (I can't do it) & the fact that anybody that would pay money to see all this sagginess & streached-outness I've got going up in here, except my husband, is pretty hard-up.

My attempt to spin around it. Fail.  I think I about fell down & I know I hurt my back.

I really don't know who this chic with the wide booty is or why she has on my outfit.

Here she is again. I really think I could have done it on NYE, if my arms hadn't been so sore from Wii boxing & bowling.

I couldn't, but my cousin's new girlfriend could. Remember the one whose (now ex) wife burnt their house down, the garden tool? Well this is the upgrade. 150% better, looks & personality. Plus, she can work a pole. I guess that's a bonus for him. That's TMI for me.

B could do it! I don't know if that's a good thing or bad.

Sass can too. And so can Bo, but they think it's a fireman's pole.

Obviously I'm not very modest, because these pictures of me are horrible! I just wanted to give y'all something to laugh about...

Did yours make the top 10?

2011-01-05T12:18:00.001-05:00

New Year's Eve has come & gone & I'm still thinking about resolutions. I used to never make resolutions, but in the past 2 years I have. Granted these have been relatively attainable goals. And I've still managed to screw them up.

Anyway, so I googled top 10 New Year's resolutions & this is what I got. So I decided to go with these, with a few modifications, of course.

1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends. Since I already spend way too much time with my children, I'm going to take family as to mean my husband, so that means more date nights & friends, which means more grown-up parties. Sounds like a great resolution to me. Now what about a babysitter...

2. Fit in Fitness. Yeah, no. We all know I'm not into any sort of exercise. However, I do dress as if I'm going to the gym most everyday. We just got a new Publix in town, so I resolve to ~~walk around~~ shop there rather than the little one I usually frequent. In fact, I could go when I'm running late for pick-up. That would be some major cardio.

3. Tame the Bulge. Read tummy tuck. Sign me up. I could also go for a boob lift. and some Botox. Just sayin'.

4. Quit Smoking. I don't smoke, maybe I should, could calm my nerves. But I'm not a big fan of the smell, plus I have bit of a lung condition. I could resolve to count to 10, stop yelling at the children, have more patience. I think I'll just resolve to get a refill on my Xanax.
5. Enjoy Life More. I am all for this one! I pretty much enjoy life as it is, but if you factor in my 1st resolution to have more grown-up fun & the Xanax refill, this one could be met. If only Dr. K could prescribe something for Sass (like a sedative as soon as she gets home from school) & Dish Network could hurry up & cut a deal with my local ABC/Fox channel so I don't miss any of my shows, everything would be all good.

6. Quit Drinking. I don't think so. Drink more. See #5. Retro says I'm turning into a lust, but they say drinking a glass of wine a night is good for you. I just prefer one of my signature cocktails & instead of once a day, I save up. Plus, it makes my mood sooo much better. The children would like it if I put "beard" in everything. Then maybe I wouldn't need that sedative for Sass.

7. Get Out of Debt. I'm not in debt. Unless you count my little bill at my favorite little shop, Two Friends. It's so convenient to have a charge account. Between there & the school I could eat a meal & buy several outfits & just charge it all to Retro. Which is pretty good since he wards over our 1 & only credit card like mad!

8. Learn Something New. Maybe some new recipes. I could resolve again this year to stop eating out & start cooking more. Retro is threatening to go back on that Atkins diet. Curse you, Mr. Atkins. That & the fact that my children are the pickiest eaters EVER, really put a damper on my cooking skills.

9. Help Others. I know this sounds bad, but I'm over foreign ad. And aside from what we already do; clothes, toys & food to the needy, this year I plan to focus all our charitable efforts toward sick children & the elderly. These are things that directly effect our lives. And if anyone is interested in helping me, I could use a babysitter.

10. Get Organized. This is my resolution every year. It didn't happen in 2009. or 2010 & I very serious doubt it's going to happen in 2011.

So, did your resolutions make the top 10?

My Review

2011-01-03T12:09:00.001-05:00

Originally submitted at CSN Stores

I think I may have a future doctor...

By Semi-Slacker Mom from Macon, GA on 1/3/2011

Baby Girl had kind of a medical-themed Christmas this year. She got the American Girl doll feel better kit & Baby Alive Feel Better baby, so the Doctor Role Play costume set was a perfect addition to her gifts. She has been doctoring on all her babies since Christmas Day.

The jacket fits perfectly & she loves all the accessories & tools.

CSNstores provided me with the gift code to purchase this product.

(legalese)

My Review of DrinkMaster Classic in Chrome

2011-01-03T10:22:00.001-05:00

Originally submitted at CSN Stores

Features:

Enjoy thick shakes & soda fountain drinks at home
28 oz. stainless steel mixing cup
Stainless steel mixing cup
Two speeds

Tiltable mixing head

Easy-clean detachable spin...

Best Christmas Present Ever!

By Semi-Slacker Mom from Macon, GA on 1/3/2011

My husband loves milkshakes, so I gave him this for Christmas. He loves it! And so does the rest of the family! My husband has already started to create his own recipes.

This machine is easy to use & so easy to clean. I would definity recommend it to all my friends.

CSNstores provided me with the gift codes to purchase this product.

(legalese)

The Christmas that would never end...

2010-12-31T14:18:00.000-05:00

What better time than New Year's Eve to do a recap of Christmas of 2010. I'm gonna miss saying that, 2010. It sounds so much better than 2011.

Remember this is my scrapbook too (along with all the other 20,000 pictures saved on my massive hard drive), so spoiler alert *tons of pictures*.

I was rather pleased with my teacher's gifts this year. For Bo's teachers, I made vegetable beef soup & put in these cute glass containers with silver tops & our preacher's wife makes this awesome homemade bread, so I put a loaf of bread (in Christmasy bakery bags) with the soup in cute Christmasy baskets. I hate I didn't take pictures, but I was kind of rushing around getting the bread & all.

I Sassy made monkey bread for her teachers (Paula Deen's kid's cookbook recipe) & my bestie did these cute cake carriers. It was a hit! Both teacher's initials were G.

The same day as the big's last day of school was also Baby Girl's playschool Christmas party. Imagine that. That's par for the course in my chaotic life. I was kind of worried she wouldn't have anything to do with Santa, but I guess when he's holding a present for her he's cool. This is her buddy, AC (it was at her birthday party that we made the gingerbread houses).

And Bo's Christmas party...

and Baby Girl's ballet Christmas program. Don't you love her tutu that my momma made? Remember this for later.

This was the Sunday before Christmas. I got 2 out of 3, eyes on me, so I guess that's the best I could get. Don't you love how the 2 little ones are all Christmasied (you like that word) up & Miss Thang is too cool for Christmas? Thank goodness none of the presents were breakable, since they were sitting all over them, but whatever it takes for a decent picture.

This how the photo session started out. Remind me of this for next year's Christmas card. And for those who don't know her, this is sooo typical.

Then we had this wild evening with my 3 besties & all our children. Off the chain, would be an understatement. It took about 6 shots to get this one.

How cute are these matchy-matchy pjs, my bestie made for the girls!

Then I hosted the Bunko Babes Christmas party & since they all have a fit when I post their pictures, I show you the table setting I did for my dining room table. Remember that tutu? I have since replaced the silver chargers with red. Target-1/2 off.

and of course the signature cocktail. It's called Christmas Cheer; apple vodka, cranberry juice, triple sec & grenadine. I added some Sprite too. Just in case you still need some.

Apparently my momma had a little too much Christmas Cheer, when she decided to make gingerbread houses with all 5 grandchildren.

All in all they turned out pretty cute. from a distance...

Then I made this giant ~~gingerbread~~ sugar cookie house. It's from a cute Wilton kit & came with the house-shaped cake pan.

and somebody lost his first tooth. I was hoping it would wait till Christmas Eve, so the Tooth Fairy could catch a ride with Santa Claus, but it came out on the 23rd.

and somebody stole the show, as usual. I hate I didn't get a good picture of her in her leopard print fur vest with matching leg warmers. Baby Girl got pink.

This is the closest thing I could get to a good family picture. At least Retro's not wearing shorts. And I got my hair cut yesterday. Oh how I wish I had gotten it cut before Christmas.

Isn't this the cutest picture? I love that they are so close. I wish Sassy was closer in age, but that's another story for another day.

Another fabulous photo op! Gammi gave the children matching pjs & me these cute snowflake ones. Sassy was crying because my FIL gave each of them $100 & Retro promptly retrieved it to put in the bank. He is such a miser.

Gifts from Santa. This was "the year of the tent" & we got to Wii too, which has lead to many fights since.
Sassy's...

Bo's...

Baby Girl's...

Christmas morning. I remember when my brother & I used to get up at the crack of dawn, you've thought they were going to school or something. I got up, made breakfast, finished the cookies...

This was genius on my part. Feel free to steal it for next year. Santa put a "lump of coal" or rather charcoal in a cellophane bag & put it in everyone's stocking.

My daddy does not usually do things like this & if you know him for real, you would really appreciate this. I made him put the hat on, I promise he didn't come that way, the shirt was enough.

Mass chaos at my parent's house for Christmas lunch!

I am very blessed to have both my grandmothers! And both well enough to still enjoy Christmas.

They are so hard to buy for, so this year & decided to think out of the box. I gave Emma Ruth this huge pearl ring. Her friend at the home always wears fancy jewelry, so when I saw this I couldn't resist & if she didn't like it, I could always wear it. She LOVED it! I got my other grandmother a "Blind Side" watch & she thought she was too cool too!

My brother & I pose in front of the tree. We were notorious for not getting along when we were young. Okay, when until we no longer lived in the same house. Okay, last year.

Retro & I, even after the 3 pairs of shoes incident.

And finally the Christmas night camp out. I don't think anybody woke up in their own tent. or any tent for that matter.

Now...I hope y'all have the Happiest of New Year's!

See you in 2011!

Pay-per-View, greatest invention EVER

2010-12-29T22:11:00.000-05:00

Why is it that is costs $47 to take 3 children to see a movie?

So that's $28 for tickets, matinee price & $19 for snacks; 1 kid's pack (popcorn, super-small drink & tiny bag of Skittles- 85% landed on the floor) a order of nachos (which I find extremely discussing, but Sass likes them), a small bag of popcorn (1/4 of which was thrown away) & a large Icee (shared by me, Sass & Baby Girl).

And when did they start showing commercials at the movies? Half of the snacks that were consumed were eaten during this 30-minute time frame.

We saw "Tangled" & I thought it was pretty good. Two thumbs up. It was able to keep the children more calm & quiet, then well, the last time we went to the movies. Baby Girl was at her best for at least 45 minutes, then Bo decided he wanted to sit in the top row & since I was a shear genius & went to the very first showing & there was only about 3 other families in the theater (God bless them) I let him.

Is it sad that I thought the leading man was hot, even though he was a cartoon?

Since they did so good in the movie, I took them to Target to spend some of the Christmas money that was burning a hole in ~~their pocket~~ my pocketbook. Big mistake. HUGE. But even after that drama, I maintained my sanity. well at least as much as usual.

So I guess I'm out of my Christmas funk, well obviously since I volunteerly took them to the movie. Yesterday, Retro brought me home a potted plant (it's my favorite color, lime green) & some Godiva chocolate. He said it was a "peace offering" so I guess all I needed was an apology. Plus, I have New Year's Eve to look forward to...

I promise to post Christmas pictures soon, but I haven't figured out how to load them on my laptop. Which totally rocks by the way.

I'm thinking about writing for the local newspaper & need one of my best "works" to send to the editor. Can any of you loyal readers think of any of my posts that really stand out?

this close to the nut house

2010-12-28T14:18:00.000-05:00

Let me preface this by saying, I don't know what has been wrong with me this Christmas. I usually have my moments during the season, but the past week & a half, I swear if I had a BB gun (which I didn't get BTW) I would have shot Rudolph in his shiny red nose. My happy pills aren't working & I've taken more Xanax & drank more this week than I have in 6 months. Nothing is making me merry. Except admiring my kick-ass Christmas tree. That bad boy is staying up till I get in a better mood.Now, Retro always complains that I don't write anything about him. Like what a wonderful husband he is & other TMI stuff. Well today is NOT the day for me to start. And I'm don't think this is the kind of post he was looking for.

See where I'm coming from?

He has been on my $hit list since the mid-afternoon Christmas Eve. He knocked down one of my favorite wreaths (the candy-themed one). He knocked it down once before & complained that I should move it, since then ~~147~~ several people have entered the house & not bothered it. Imagine. The fact that he knock it down is not the problem, the problem is he then proceeded to ~~stomp~~ step on it. I was already in a pissy mood, so you should have seen my head spin around.

Another thing, how much thought do you think about the gifts you give your loved ones? Especially your spouse. Well this year I was so proud of the gift I got for Retro. I loves milkshakes & we used to have a place in town that made the best. So...I got him a milkshake machine just like the other one. I got it through blog work, so he didn't even have to pay for his own gift. Then he proceeds to say he's going on a diet.

Retro on the other hand, puts very little thought into his gifts. The best gift EVER was when he surprised me with a golf cart. It's really not the size or amount of the gift that counts. Last year, he gave me the EXACT same necklace that he gave me for Mother's Day. This year "hiking boots" (+ tennis shoes & some clogs)? I drive the golf cart to the mailbox! He all the his gifts at a one-stop shop. They sell North Face, that would have worked. A $20 gift certificate to the nail place would have been more thoughtful.

Thank the Lord I'm in charge of the children's gifts. Or Baby Girl may be inclined to knock Santa off his freaking block.

Even my awesome LAPTOP from my parents (when I get it hooked up) & the awesome FIRE BOWL from my in-laws can't bring me out of my funk.

He knows I'm just about to my breaking point, so does he offer to stay with the children while I take a break? Nope, he goes to Atlanta to the Falcons game. Praise the Lord for my friends B&M! They can always help take to edge off.

And for the record, I do love my husband very much. He is just the suckiest gift-giver EVER. And thoughtfully-challenged.

Like the hat? My Christmas gift to myself.

*Don't fret a happier post with lots of pictures is coming soon*

Need a little Christmas cheer?

2010-12-24T14:37:00.001-05:00

If you're not in the Christmas spirit yet, try this first, then Xanax.

Here's Baby Girl singing new favorite Christmas song this season...

and a flashback of Bo from 2008...

MERRY CHRISTMAS

from the

SEMI-SLACKERS!!!

Dear Santa,

2010-12-18T18:38:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to drop you a note this year, (I hope you read my blog!)
in hopes that you could add a few things for me in your Christmas Eve haul.

I've been fairly good, thanks to my meds, Wellbutrin & Xanax.
(Cool reindeer names. Goes great with Blitzen.)
No f-bombs at family dinners, the D word maybe, still having flashbacks.
Stay on my good side & I can be quite the vixen.

I've only threatened to run away a time or two,
and haven't harmed anyone, when a time-out will do. for me.
The house may not always be clean, it's still standing & that's a plus.
I keep the children alive & they don't even cuss. much

I'm not asking for much, a modern-day cell phone & a nip or a tuck.
The first one's a bust & recovery for me & all that I do, surely would suck.
I guess I've have to scratch those off my list.
But don't worry, there's still more things that I can't resist.

I did see a pink BB gun that I surely would like.
I don't why that makes Retro nervous, I can't seem figure it out.
Botox would be nice, no recovery time for that.
Or at the very least a spa day. I can get you some numbers if you're in doubt.

A weekend getaway would be a dream,
with Retro, my girls (not the ones I birthed) or even just me.
I'd settle for the Holiday Inn right in town.
The nail place's next door, so maybe that's the key.

I got you something Santa & you didn't even buy it.
It's not what you are thinking, get your mind out of the gutter.
I know you're going to love it & your smile is gift enough.
But remember cash always makes my heart go aflutter.

(But just in case, I got myself some TOMS, a Burberry scarf & a snazzy new hat.)

All my love,
Semi-Slacker Mom

*This is my sad attempt at poetry. In my defense, I'm home alone with 2 wild children, red velvet cookies & eggnog!*

Maybe the day AFTER Christmas cards?

2010-12-17T13:59:00.000-05:00

O Mod Tannenbaum Christmas

Create unique Christmas cards with Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Sassy's new favorite "Christmas?" song

2010-12-14T19:14:00.001-05:00

It is kind of cute. She can have this dude & send Jake G. over here.

I can explain...

2010-12-13T17:27:00.000-05:00

what I've been doing besides blogging, but I CAN'T explain this crazy Georgia weather. It's still fall & we had snow flurries on Wednesday & today, yet on Saturday when I plan for cold, it's notsomuch.

So here's what's been happening around here. *Spoiler alert: LOTS of pictures*

I've been performing my room mother duties as Sassy & the rest of the WLS Third grade presents "Where's Santa";

decorating tables & arranging food,

cutting greenery from the school's landscaping,

serving ~~spiked~~ punch,

Hot-gluing pearls on wooden guitars,

listening to "I got this blue box at Tiffany's you see. It's for Mrs. Claus from the elves & me.",

& finally enjoying the much anticipated preformance.

Sassy & 2 of her "boyfriends", Nate-Dog & Pork Chop.

And guess what. They found Santa!

Sass took this one!

And he's the "real deal"!

Bo wouldn't sit in his lap, but he did get close enough to him to tell him a joke. "What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet."

And I just liked this picture.

Then Saturday was Bo's birthday party.

The little boy was suppossed to have on PJs, but my brother decided he needed to look more like Bo. And that he does. Don't you agree?

I set up Rhett's old train to run around the cake. Do you get that the white stuff on the table is supposed to be snow?

The rest of these are kind of out of order.
Mass chaos, opening presents.

The gifts!!!!

After the party. Notice that our PJs match?

Baby Girl & our new preacher's littlest enjoy the train ride.

I think that's Sass & her bestie, Sweetie in the blue car.

My nephew, Ross, my bestie & her little Mad Dawg!

Why do you always have to take my picture?

The GIANT slide!

The food...those Christmas Peeps were even better roasted on the fire pit later that evening. Gave kind of a creme brulee taste to them. YUM!

PB&J, PB & Fluff, Just PB & Just Jelly sandwiches cut into Christmas shapes; red & green grapes; popcorn; Cocoa Chex mix (my fave); white choc. Christmas tree pretzels, pickles & cheese & just cheese cubes; red & green M&Ms; Capri-Suns; cokes & ~~spiked~~ punch. I had chili & hot chocolate, but it wasn't all that cold.

The party favors; Santa cups filled with a pack of hot chocolate w/ marshmallows, candy cane & a bell with a "Believe" tag on it.

Santa was supposed to make an appearance, but that's what sometimes happens when I ask my SIL's BF to do something.

Sass, tweens & self esteem

2010-12-09T16:15:00.001-05:00

I have something kind of strange going on with Sassy. I don't know if it's tween angst, self esteem or shyness, but here's what's going on.

At school, she runs the show. She can be shy around the teachers, but with her friends she is Miss Personality. Even with the boys, she is still one of the most popular kids in the class. Granted there is only 32 children in her grade, but you get the picture.

At school, she is very outgoing. She cheers & loves all the social activities. I guess it's because she gets lots of attention, which she thrives on. However, she does like to have her mother involved in all her activities.

At church, now that's a whole different story. She is very shy, stand-offish & really doesn't like to participate. The ages of the children range from Kindergarten to 5th grade & she is only close to one girl her age (Lil).

Also, there is another little girl that may or may not be a bit of a bully. She is always around Lil & sometimes she lets Sass hang with them, but sometimes she doesn't. I really try not to get involved, but I'm not a fan of bullies & have been known to call one out. ~~and I may or may not have tried to trip the aforementioned one Wednesday night.~~

Sass doesn't want to do drama or choir at church, which to some degree is okay because with school & all, I don't want her overloaded. And after seeing the drama club's Christmas play, she has decided to join in. She won't even go to Sunday School because of you know who.

My question is how can I get her to act more like she does at school at church or should I not worry about it? ~~or should I just take out the problem child?~~

I'm glad she learns some Christian values at school because she's not a big fan of church.

*Changing churches is not an option. We were their first.

Anybody need a teacher gift?

2010-12-09T10:09:00.000-05:00

How about Skittles Vodka? I know my children's teachers could probably use some, but then again they do get a break from them for 3 weeks. I may need to keep this for myself.

6 oz. vodka
60 pieces of skittles candies (of a single color)

Directions :
1. Separate all the skittles by color.
2. Mix approximately 60 skittles to 6 oz. of vodka into empty water bottles and shake vigorously.
3. Leave overnight.
4. Strain the skittle vodka (use a chinois or coffer filter or something similar) making sure all the white residue is removed.
5. Pour vodka into container, jar, or bottle and chill.

And if you're Not in the Christmas Mood, you can try some of these-

Wear a Santa suit to the nearest red light district & stand on the corner saying "Ho!" as women walk by.
*Get a job as a mall Santa & then tell all the children you're sick of the milk and cookies crap & you'd prefer a beer & a plate of hot wings instead. (or Vodka & chocolate)

*Stand on a street corner selling dime bags of mistletoe.

Buy a package of Keebler's E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies and hand them out to children saying this is what happens to the bad elves.
Sell Grinch-skin rugs.

Put on a Santa suit and open a mall kiosk that sells reindeer jerky and Easter Bunny filets.

Randomly replace one bulb in your neighbor's lights so they no longer work. Repeat this every day until Christmas.

*I'm contemplating both of these.

Can y'all believe it snowed in Central Georgia in the middle of December yesterday? It didn't stick & only lasted about 15 minutes, but still. I'm calling Al Gore & asking him where's my damn global warming.

Home Tour Tuesday - Christmas Decor

2010-12-07T12:13:00.000-05:00

My house still isn't completely decorated, but I didn't want to miss Flip Flops & Pearls' Home Tour Tuesday. So here's a taste of what ~~threw up in~~ is decorating the Semi-Slacker home for the holidaze.

The back door. Candy-themed. A matching garland will accompany this wreath, at some point.

The dining room. All my bride's tree ornaments, plus BG's elf. On the plate rack behind is just a few of my massive Christmas plate/platter collection.

The mantle. It may get some tweaking. I'll let you guess which stocking is Sassy's.

Living room tree. How do you like the bow & candy canes?

Basement door wreath. Formally the front door wreath.

Front door wreath. It's getting a coordinating garland too.

Top of the frig.

Kitchen bar.

Playroom tree.

Nutcracker collection.

The Reason for the Season. Out of the reach of little hands.

I forgot to take pictures of the girl's pink & green tree & Bo's sports tree. And I'm running late for Sassy's school play dress rehearsal, so another day.

How are you decorating this year?

What not to wear to the Christmas parade

2010-12-06T13:16:00.000-05:00

Saturday was the Christmas parade in Smalltown, GA, so all the Whos down in Whoville lined Main Street to ~~get some candy~~ enjoy the Christmas cheer. My bestie's gma-in-law lives on Main Street, so we have preferred seating. It's pretty sweet, plus she always has cookies & hot chocolate. The weather was nice on Saturday, as compared to the Arctic blast we are experiencing today. Have I ever told y'all I'm not a fan of cold weather? If there's no snow, it's a total waste. Now what was I talking about? Oh yeah, let me just tell y'all that our little small town has it's fair share of white trash, so I don't know why I was surprised (I really wasn't) when I saw a ~~lady~~ woman wearing this t-shirt...

Classy huh? I know you all can't wait to add this to your list.

Then we went to a birthday party & my overachiever friend, LA had graham cracker "gingerbread" houses for the children to decorate. I usually let my children make a gingerbread house ~~from scratch~~ from one of those Wilton kits, which ends up with a fight, some Xanax & a huge mess for me to clean up; so thanks LA. Gingerbread houses- check, check, check!

I think they turned out pretty cute. and some people (Baby Girl) may or may not have had help.

Bo's Polar Express birthday party is in 5 sleeps & while I have secured the entertainment; a train & giant slide ( the benefits of having a friend in the party biz) & Santa (the benefits of bribing SIL's BF), this house still looks like Christmas threw up in here & I can't decide on the food. Hot chocolate, duh, but what's Polar Expressy food-wise? The cake, on the other hand, will be kick a$$. Like this minus the girl & change the name & age...

In the past week, 2 of my friends have lost parents. Retro & I are in a vast minority among our friends; both sets of our parents are still alive & still married to each other. I think in this day & age that says a lot. We are very blessed. I loaned my friend who lost his mother my Xanax, besides my sympathies & some chicken & dumplings, that's all I could offer him. My other friend lost her step-father (& my neighbor). His family is scattered around the country & a very outgoing group. They are Catholic & of Latin American descent & apparently know how to party. The evening after the funeral the family held a party in Mr. Tony's memory. If any of my IRL family or friends are reading this, I totally want to go out like this. Cocktails & Karaoke. Now isn't that a great way to celebrate someone's life?

The other day I found a box of Andes mints that I bought to go in Bo's stocking last year. I was wondering where I put those things. And the bad thing is that they weren't packed up with the Christmas stuff, they were right beside the TV in the armoire.

I'm getting ready to write a review for ScentSicles. They are fragrance sticks that you hang on your fake tree to make it smell like a real one. How clever is that?

Ten Things on Tuesday or Christmas Craziness

2010-11-30T18:30:00.001-05:00

1. I have be a TOTAL slacker when it comes to blogging (Does anybody still read?) but in my defense I have been working overtime in the momma department. I hosted Thanksgiving at my house for the 9th year. Both families, here. It's easier than it sounds, so don't give me too much credit, everybody brings something. I just cook the turkey...

& this year I did a ham, loaded mashed potatoes & an easy corn pudding/casserole.

2. I know it's late, but I'm finally posting my gifts from Flip Flops & Pearls Christmas Swap. My partner was Hannah & this is what she sent me. I wish I had a picture of what I sent her, but my bestie, the gift-wrapping guru, wrapped it for me. Because I stink at it.

The corn pudding recipe was in the book, along with tons of other things I'm dying ~~for my mother~~ to try. And the mug matches my decor this year perfectly. Plus, I love peppermint tea. and didn't get any for my Keurig. (hint, hint)

3. My Bunko group is making blankets for Project Linus this year. And since Baby Girl has done 2 stints in the Children's Hospital in the past 2 years, I'm really excited about it. ~~Sassy &~~ I have made 3 so far, but I plan to do a few more.

Especially since I think Sass might jack up the zebra print one. Imagine that.

4. My friend, Kimberly built a "Martha Stewart" fire pit in her yard, so I decided ~~Bo, Baby Girl &~~ I would make a redneck version. We've only used it once, the weather hasn't been cooperating. Hopefully, this weekend we can take full advantage of my handiwork. That is if this tornado outside doesn't take it out before then.

5. My house looks like Christmas exploded in it. Apparently I was smoking crack Friday night & decided it would be a good idea to put up 2 full-sized (7ft) trees, along with the 12 4 half-sized (4ft) trees I usually put up. The house is halfway decorated & I still have 3 boxes to go through.

6. I'm doing a Polar Express themed party for Bo's party (any ideas?) & my friend that usually does my invitations didn't have what I wanted, I decided to do them myself. I did them like the tickets from the movie & was pretty proud of them (especially since I did them myself). Luckily I had only given them out to Bo's school friends because last night I saw one of the mommas & she said "Bo's invitations were cute, when is the party?" I forgot the date! So last night I reprinted 20 invitations.

7. The girl's have been steadily practicing for their Christmas performances. Sass has a play at school & her part includes a "little box from Tiffany's, you see". How fitting. Baby Girl has been doing her number for her dance school's Christmas show all over the house. The only problem is she prefers to do her arabesques in the buff. My momma is making her the cutest tutu ever, so hopefully it will remedy that situation.

8. Sass & I went "Black Friday" shopping this year. It was her first time & my first time since, I think, she was born. We weren't one of those 3 am crazies, but we were at Best Buy by 6:30 for a good deal on a Wii. Then to Target, Wal-Mart & Old Navy. I'm about through & it's not even December yet, which is quite a feat for a semi-slacker like me.

9. Why do the networks play "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" at 8 pm on a school night? Am I the only person that makes their children go to bed before then? What are the people that don't have ABCFamily or DVRs to do?

10. At what age would it be okay to consider myself an eccentric old lady & leave my Christmas tree up all year? Think 40's too young? I'll probably need to wait at least till I'm a widow at least. I don't think Retro would done too well with my craziness. well anymore than he has to deal with now.

The best eyeglasses EVER!

2010-11-29T13:15:00.000-05:00

A few months ago GlassesUSA.com contacted me about reviewing their eyeglasses. I was all for it because I needed some new glasses, the ones I had just paid $200 for at the eye doctor weren't really working for me. Seriously, I have a child-sized head & they were a little big.
I was kind of skeptical about ordering glasses online because it takes me 2 hours to pick them out in person where I can try them on. And how was I going to know if they looked good on me? But I took the plunge, searched the site (it still took me 2 hours) to find the perfect prescription glasses. Then I just sent them my prescription from the eye doctor & I was all set. And let me tell you, these glasses are much less expensive.

Let me share with you some of the interesting information I found out about GlassesUSA:

We’re not just out to make money – we actually care about society! Our broken and defective eyeglass frames are recycled and many of our returned frames are donated. What does that mean? Well, we believe that everyone should have access to vision care. So, we donate some of our returned eyeglasses to various organizations around the U.S. who then sanitize and redistribute the eyeglasses with the correct prescription to people all over the world who can’t afford vision care! Seeing properly shouldn’t be a luxury – it should be a necessity. We do our best to help our customers and we take their vision needs very seriously. We are an international company with two offices: one in New Jersey (our headquarters) and one in Israel. Our eyeglasses are produced at both facilities in order to provide our customers with top quality lenses in the most fashionable frames available!

How cool is that?

When I received my glasses, I was pleasantly surprised. I loved them & they fit perfect. Even for my little head! I usually just wear my glasses at night to drive, but now you can catch me wearing them quite often. Even at the Miranda Lambert concert.

What do you think?
I'll tell you, I'll never paid $200 at the eye doctor again.

If you would like to order your next pair of glasses from GlassesUSA, which I highly recommend, they are offering my readers a coupon code. You can receive 10% off your final order of glasses with the code: Blog10. The code does not expire.

Check out their Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/GlassesUSA.

Cake & Cocktails

2010-11-24T11:25:00.000-05:00

It's my birthday & I'll throw myself a party if I want to! So I did. on Saturday

And let me just say I big puffy heart Facebook, especially this past weekend. One hundred & thirty-one people wished me Happy Birthday! And that's not even counting all the times my friend, Mitzi Mc, did. :) She's a reader & frequent commenter! And I love it when my IRL friends comment.

*spoiler alert: lots of pictures*

Of course, my SIL made my cake. It was chocolate. with chocolate icing. and chocolate ganache. Sass & I thought it needed a little something on top & while I was searching for the butterflies from Baby Girl's cake or the swirly things from hers, she stuck an "airplane" bottle of Absolut on top.

This is the cake they made for my daddy's birthday on Friday. I was the best birthday gift he's ever gotten. I tell him that every year. Anyway, he grows camellias & my SIL made the cake & my brother painted the flower on fondant. Pretty cool, huh?

Now for the party pics... Here's me & my besties. This is the worst picture of me, but seriously they deleted like 3 pictures immediately after they were taken. They so love for me to post their pictures.

I let Sass stay at the party (I farmed out her brother & sister) so her bestie, Lil came over with her parents. These girlies are always party-ready. Aren't they so cute with their matchy-matchy dresses?

Lil's momma & Aunt Tiff, who you may remember as part of the SGI Beach Crew & our good friend, Amber smile pretty for the camera & they didn't even check my photography skillz.

Obviously this was well into the evening, but still a nice picture of the hubs & his better half.

The girlies & their mommas. I don't know who had more fun, them or the grown-ups. Buford's girls make us Semi-Slackers look so short. okay, we are so short.

The food...

The beverages...

The bar...

and just because you don't look at the camera, doesn't mean I won't take your picture. Y'all did notice that "Pink Party Punch" didn't you?

Some of the gifts...

Cupcakes from Hello There Cupcake. Yum.

(Clockwise from top left; Funky Monkey, Pina Colada, Lemon Love & Cinnamon Roll)

I'll let you guess which one was my favorite.

front

back

Does this not have my name written all over it? So did the chic at Hobby Lobby when I went in to replace it after Baby Girl broke the orginial. I got the last one was it must have been meant to be.

Only in the South does the party always end up in the yard, even in November.

B had to make a "redneck" cornhole board. You may also remember his "redneck" slip & Slide from the beach. Retro may be getting a cornhole set for Christmas just for parties. The girls were keeping score.

Beauregard has always got to be in the middle of everything!

Our friend, Darrell (the guest of honor at the last party we had) is in Iraq, so we were texting with him during the party. I thought this was too funny, he's doing water shots in my honor. These people have to go fight in a war & can't even have a drink. No wonder they're so stressed out. I wonder if they can have "happy pills"?

I'm glad to see his wifey had a good time!

And this is how I celebrated my actual birthday; in my comfy clothes, making smores on the grill with my children.

Friday, Saturday, it's still just some chit-chat

2010-11-20T17:28:00.000-05:00

or Why I love Canadians...

This week two of my Canadian readers have been super sweet to the Semi-Slackers! On Monday, Baby Girl received the sweetest card, notepad & pencil set from High-Heeled Life's sweet Yorkie, Dolce. If y'all haven't checked out her blog, you must. She is such an inspiration. Then yesterday, I get a package from my other Canadian, Sandra from Absolutely Narcissism. She send me this

I have a package from my swap partner at the post office. (Of course, we have to have a sub mail person today, our usual lady would have just put in on the porch.) I can't wait to get it! She's from Arkansas. But I'm still excited.

Sass made honor roll. I'm super excited about this one. My child with a learning disability made honor roll.

Baby Girl is fighting me with her medicine. I've been putting her meds in her favorite foods & now she is refusing to eat them. No, I don't tell her it's in there & no, she can't taste it. She is just trying my patience.

I know I've been super slack in the blogging department, but I am having a party at my house in 2 hours & I'm writing this your y'alls enjoyment.

My children are calling out every house we ride past the has Christmas decorations up already. I call it getting ahead of the game, they (my children) are apparently the decorating police. But come Friday...

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'll be 36. Today when I went to the liquor store, the guy didn't card me. I don't remember if he usually does or not, but I guess when the birthday looming & all, I noticed. So, either A) I go enough that he recognizes me or 2) I look like I haven't seen 21 in 15 years. OMG. I turned 21 15 years ago. I would say I remember the day, but I don't.

Y'all have I great weekend. and probably Thanksgiving because I may not post again till then, but then I will have to post about the party. So...

Friday Fragments Finally

2010-11-12T13:13:00.000-05:00

It's mean a long time since I've done FF, so here's what's rattling around it my head.

CSN Stores has asked me to do another product review & since I love my waffle iron, I jumped at the change. If your not familiar, CSN Stores has over 200 online stores where you can find anything you need whether it be a bedroom furniture, bathroom shelving or even cute Christmas decor.

Saw this on Facebook... ‎1) Go to google maps 2) Click on get directions 3) Type in Japan as starting point 4) Type in China as ending point 5) Go to number 43 on the direction. And check out the point in the middle of the ocean that starts with a F. How would you like to have that for your address?

Baby Girl asked me this morning why she wets her diaper/pull-up (she wears one to bed). I told her we were working on fixing that. She knows what's going on & I feel kinda bad. The surgery can't fix the wetting, let's hope the medicine can.

Is it bad that I pride myself on being able to talk just like Ruby from Max & Ruby? Maybe I could do books on tape.

I still haven't found all my winter clothes! I found Retro's & he doesn't even wear winter clothes till January. I think that's a sign, don't you?

a hour later...

Found them. After typing that I went on a mission. I reorganized my storage area, which holds all our out-of-season clothes AND all my holiday decor (that's all holidays), that was overflowing even without the fall stuff. Bingo. I found the clothes. They were in a box that I thought was stuff that was the wrong size or out-of-style. yes, I'm a pack-rat. I got all the Christmas ready to come upstairs in TWO WEEKS. And did what I've been meaning to do for years, I hung all my wreaths on the wall in the hallway (of the basement, not the main house. I'm crazy, but even I have to draw the line.)

Baby Girl has gotten into the old cartoons on Boomerang & Cartoon Network, like Scooby-Doo & The Flintstones. Retro thinks it's neat, but I kinda miss Kai-Lan.

I've decided this is the year that I'm going to tell Sass about Santa Claus. I came up with all kind of lies last year to throw her off. And let me just say that the Tooth Fairy that comes to our house is a hot mess. Plus, apparently she doesn't work on Labor Day. Anybody got any ideas on how to go about doing this?

This is the only weekend for the rest of the year that we don't have something major going on & soccer's over so no more 9am games. Wonder what I can give them to make them sleep late in the morning...

Happy Weekend!

Gifts Ideas for the Semi-Slacker Mom

2010-11-10T14:19:00.000-05:00

Okay. I'm back. I'm over being psycho. well any more than usual. I've accepted the February appointment, plus it works better for my social calendar.

I found a new blog that I love, I'm a Lazy Mom. If that ain't me, I don't know what is. Stacey even has Lazy Recipes.

My birthday is coming up & I'm in need of some grown-up time, so ~~I'm~~ Retro is throwing me a party. It's going to be Cake & Cocktails. I can't imagine where he came up with such a clever theme.

And speaking of birthdays, he is going to be at a major loss this year gift wise because our local jewelry store (his gift-giving headquarters) has closed. Especially since it doesn't look like I'm getting my pool or tummy tuck this year. Botox, maybe?

So I've come up with a list for ~~anybody that has to buy me gifts~~ him & I'm going very low-maintenance this year, aside from my main wish...a weekend without children, a spa weekend would be even better.

1. cute tights to go with black & brown outfits, that's black tights & brown tights. See, easy peasy.

2. airplane-sized bottles of booze. What a great stocking stuffer! B's has a great selection.

3. Olive Garden salad dressing. never mind, I just get that myself. But you can take me out to eat. I prefer Natalia's, but I'll settle.

4. Keurig K-cups in Hot Cocoa & Peppermint Tea. that's Keurig.com.

5. Bert's Bees Lip Gloss in Nutmeg. Just ask the lady at Cracker Barrel or take Sass, she'll show you. Three tubes please. One from each child.

6. that wool skirt in LL Bean, that I circled & put on the counter, under your cell phone, remember?

I could also use a few new ribbed turtlenecks (pink, brown, black, white) but I'll just get that with the cash you put in my stocking.

See aren't I a nice wifey? I make his life so easy.

Dang, now I've got Coke all over my computer screen.

The patient (or patient's mother) is always right

2010-11-08T07:23:00.001-05:00

or why I'm a doctor's worst nightmare.

If you been reading for a while you will know there are only 2 doctors that I like, well 2 types.

I like all of the doctors at the pediatrician's office, except one & she pissed me off when Sass was little & I don't think she's there anymore. In fact, one of the doctor's, who stapled Baby Girl head in the guitar incident of '09, wife was one of the residents when she was in the hospital & he stopped by to she her & he wasn't even working. How sweet is that!

I love my OB/GYN & all his partners. I miss when I was pregnant so often because now I rarely get to visit. Oh, I almost forgot the ENT doctor. Bo thinks he is the greatest thing ever. The ortho doctor was okay, but did piss me off a little, but y'all are probably already bored to death so I won't go into that.

Okay, so basically I just don't like urologists & internal medicine doctors. (If you reading this & you are one, give me your number.) You may remember the run-in with my urologist's NP.

Thursday was only 4 days ago, but it seems like forever.
Retro & I took baby Girl to Atlanta to a pediatric urologist & I wasn't happy with what he had to say. Imagine that. Seriously. I got so pissed I left the room & that was after 2 XANAX. So he even beat out the NP at my doctor.

This is the email that I sent my friend (shortly after we got home, so I was still hot):

She has 2 problems, [urinary dysfunction & reflux] so he wants to put her on some more antibiotics for 3 mths. Then do the surgery. I want this (stuff) taken care of NOW. And how convenient that 3 months will be after we have to start a new deductible ($3500) on our insurance. Let me tell you, the guy probably already thinks I'm a bitch, but if she has another one of those seizures, bitch is going to be an understatement. I don't even know what his reasoning was not to do the surgery , I didn't even listen because she has been on antibiotics for the past year & it's only getting worse. Needless to say I'm kinda stressed right now.

She's now on Detrol. If that sounds familiar, it's because you've seen the commercials for "overactive bladder". And a maintenance antibiotic, to prevent infection. The reflux can be fixed, but the UD can not. That's fine, I don't have a problem with keeping her on the Detrol, but she was on a different maintenance antibiotic when she had the durn seizure. And I had the same thing she has when I was little & there wasn't a surgery to fix it & 30 years later, I still have UTIs. Both meds are in capsule form so I have to mix her medicine in with her food (like a dog) & make sure she eats it all. Twice a day.

I'm of the opinion; if it's broke, fix it, don't just put duct tape on it. Okay that's kind of a lie because I do use my fair share of duct tape, but only because I don't know HOW to fix something.

One of the best things about having a blog is finding friends that have things in common with you. One of the friends I have "met" is Tami from 29 & Holding. Her youngest daughter, who just turned 7, went through the same thing Baby Girl is dealing with about 2 years ago. Tami has been a great source of information & advice & has managed to talk me off the ledge. or going postal. probably the latter.

All of this is probably boring, but that's where we stand. I asked Dr. K to request her report & I will voice my concerns with him & unless he suggests it or frustrated enough, we will go back to Atlanta in February. after the holidays.

NOT the best day ever

2010-11-06T14:51:00.000-04:00

I am working on my post regarding Baby Girl's visit to the urologist. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole experience, but my blood pressure goes up every time I do.

I feel bad because I always talk about people that don't comment back, but now I've become one of those people. So much has been going on lately or I have to fight a 5yo for the computer or I'm in a bitchy, depressed mood (that's now).

How about helping to improve my attitude & please enter my giveaway.

*IF YOU'RE NEW HERE, I'M NOT USUALLY THIS WINEY. I JUST NEED AN UPGRADE ON MY HAPPY PILLS OR A VERY LARGE DRINK OR BOTH.* or as my bestie suggested, someone to be mean to on a regular basis.